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An irrational fear is a phobia

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And boy do I have one.

So to catch up, my computer is back online, praise be unto Hojo. I found a job working at my local Wally World in the Garden Center, doing various manly tasks that I was unaware even existed. Got denied to each university I've applied to thus far. So my mind is already a stew of stress and conflicted feelings.

Which then get stirred by a woman.

My lovely lady has begun partying again. She isn't drinking anymore, thank god, but each Friday it's somewhere new, some new friends, and I'm never invited. This week is a tipping point, since I know the host, loathe him, and she plans on staying a night in his home. I trust her indefinitely, and know I shouldn't worry, but I don't trust him. I'm not going to lie to you guys, and no one I know face to face can see this, so I think I can admit here that I'm scared of him. He's attractive, charismatic, lives on his own; he's everything I'm not. Whose to say she won't think he's better? Sure, I can wreck him if I needed to protect myself, but how will that keep her in love with me?

Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooood damnit

I think I'll just stop caring. Whatever.

That works, right?

Someone please tell me it works, because it's the only option I've got left.

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  1. noxious.sunshine's Avatar
    WalMart.. The place where souls go to die a slow and painful death...

    I worked there for like 8 months. It was hell. They wanted me in the Garden Center, but 'cuz I was preggo, they changed their tune real quick.

    And as far as the partying nonstop without you? No. Just. No.

    I don't mind every now and then if my guy goes out with his boys, but -every- weekend? Hell to the mfin' no.
    Then again, I'm odd. I don't keep friends. I'm not a partier. I'm perfectly happy spending all of my free time with my dude laid out on the couch with a bottle of something. lol