Loner-kid's why the hell not thread of literature snippets

[loner-kid]

Okay I decided to start a thread where I can randomly write bits poetry and prose while having other people laugh at me. My poetry tends to be short and to the point, about four lines, with little or no rhyme and are mainly short inflections on either my mood or story ideas, with the exception of this post everything will be written at the time of the post, everything in this post was written while I was taking part in a mock trial competition.

Godlets born in twin,
Hunted by their elders,
Never resting,
Never stopping,
They never will know joy

Devils children,
They will not age,
They will not grow,
Cursed to be alone

A course must be taken,
Through each incarnation of time,
One way out,
Love, Life, Death

Mourn the loss of love,
Rejoice the gain of hate,
That is what will save you

That's it for older pieces of writing I'd like to hear your comments on my odd and sporadic poetry

[loner-kid]

Ok I got a bit bored and decided to write some prose, it isn't anything that amazing but I'm writing it off the top of my head so all things considered it's not too bad


He stepped into the next room, stopping in sudden shocked silence. The room was huge stretching out over the horizon. It was perfectly white, wall and floor melding into each over, across the walls were large obsidian plaques detailing unit section codes in large letters. Serpentine tram lines mazed towards the centre of the room passing through and around soaring tower blocks. The towers were arranged in an almost circular style, and densely packed together. He was roughly man handled onto a tram which began its lonely journey.
The simplistic towers engulfed the tram cutting off all light, throwing the tram into darkness. Emerging from beneath the tower the tram stopped and he was forced off, here the lights had been blocked out by the crowded towers leaving only a gritty half-light. The inner circle wall was made entirely of glass and through it he could see people, some at desks others by strange machinery. Turning his head towards the centre of the circle he saw the purpose of the room, its sole reason for existence.
A large crystalline double helix hung rotating slowly, a host of floodlights illuminated the structure at half kilometre intervals. He could make out a black line painted along the greater helix and a white one along the lesser.
"Eryk Vincore?" He spun around, a young woman glanced at him over a clipboard "Come this way please"

[loner-kid]

boredom strikes again!

The Gargoyle

The gargoyle sits, solemnly, alone
That silent man of stone
Here, for his deeds he must atone

Beaten eyes stare blankly
Withered arms curved and wrinkly
Bat-like wings spread fully

For once he was a man deceitful
His soul decored in black so hateful
From his despair grew pain most vengeful

With his death he was deserted
Left condemned and desecrated
Bound to form most understated

And now he is but a statue made of stone
Sitting all alone


I messed up the rhythm a few times but isn't bad for a first attempt at rhyming triplets

[Halie]

Hey, I like those rhyming triplets in The Gargoyle, they flow really nicely. You seem to be really good at the poetry you write, hopefully we can see some more of it

Your prose put a good image in my head, but maybe you can continue it and make it a short story or something?

[loner-kid]

Yeah the prose does have a story behind it, the story happens inside the double helix. The black and white lines refer to the two worlds inside, damned and saved. The scientists monitor these two worlds as part of an experiment to see how people will develop in two very different situations. The majority of the story takes place in the world damned which is full of horrific and dangerous monsters, the people there were forced to develop extremely quickly against almost insurmountable odds, at the moment they can survive easily enough within a city of their own construction but getting any type of resource is difficult in the extreme as it involves leaving the protection of the city. The people there are also no longer truly human, this is the reason they have managed to survive, instead they have become monsteresque themselves although this barely shows physically. They achieved this by releasing their inner soul to the crystal helix, it gives them super human strength, endurance, and agility but it removes the individuals pupil and their ability to age, it also allows them to project their soul outside of their bodies to protect themselves. In terms of where that piece of writing might come into the story, about halfway when the main character starts getting his memory back.

I'm quite proud of how the gargoyle turned out, I had to rewrite the verses a few times because finding two fitting rhymes can be hard and I'm glad that you liked it

[Unknown Entity]

Originally Posted by loner-kid

I'm quite proud of how the gargoyle turned out...

indeed you should be - its fantastic! i liked it!

[loner-kid]

Some more poetry, slightly morbid

The dead

From the graves of twilight pain
Rise the dead
Standing besotted by the rain
Ready to be fed

With bangs the gates are blocked
They do not hold
Their cage has been unlocked
Death has made them cold

Bushes traitorously shiver
Young are hidden
The dead stop, they quiver
By hunger they're driven

A collective mindless advance will begin
Blood will fly
A wine of deep sanguine
It will stain dry

[winterborn86]

wow your really good, i could never write anything like that. where do u get ur insperation to write all this??

[loner-kid]

Umm... nowhere really i just think of a starting point and go from there, I always try to tell a story with my poetry cos it keeps me on track

[loner-kid]

And now to contradict my first post I will display a piece of free-verse written in history

A single rifle shot
The sound reverberates in my ears
They've seen me, they know I'm here
I am dead

But there are no other gunshots
Can i go on? Is it safe?
Ha, nowhere here is safe
This is my job, I will not dessert

So I keep on, at my sluggish crawl
waiting for the second shot
It does not come
Another maybe?
Another poor soul who does not bear my luck

Onwards then towards my goal
The trench rising in front of me
I have but to pull myself over
And see what is there

Three men, no different than I
Huddled around a small fire
One clutching a bird to his breast
A simple hungry plight

It is not my job to judge them
Nor to shoot them, here, and now
My job is just to watch
And then return

It's as simple as it is dangerous
A sickening double hike over the bodies of friend and foe
They say this war makes you a man
No, instead it leaves you a barren husk of who you once were


Brownie points for whoever works out what I'm studying in history

[Fishie]

Really nice work Loner Kid. You have an amazing style of writing. With a lot of your poems, I get this dark tone on most of them. And the rhyming makes it even much better.

Out of all your poems, "The Dead" is my favorite one. The imagery while reading just visualizes a graveyard and as I'm reading it's like a little mini horror movie. [If that makes any sense. ]

Awesome work. Looking forward to reading more.