poem "The March"

[darksephiroth]

Marching
To fight
To die
To live
To scream
To watch
To taste
To victory
To defeat
To happiness
To hate
To kill
To run
To march

[Mistress Sheena]

....I'm sorry, but this is spam. Seriously. It's not even a poem.

It's just sad.

Edit: You know what? I'll just leave this here. There's bound to be someone that thinks this is poetry. All I can say is that it is very bad.

[darksephiroth]

i wrote this poem last night while listing to rosenrot.

[Mistress Sheena]

....I doubt anyone really cares, and I don't even remember asking. Please stop writing one liners, okay? That post of yours is pretty much spam. It's a thought you could have included in your first post.

[Lai]

I see no reason why that isn't poetry. I've seen much blander things called masterpieces. Albeit, I don't particularly think this is a masterpiece, either, but there's no reason to insult either the poet or the poem by saying it's not poetry.

As far as the poem itself goes, I'm not entirely sure what the project of the poem was. I liked the format, but I don't like how it serves as the whole poem. If this were part of a much larger poem, I would've liked this specific part. However, I don't think taste, hate, run, or march really fit in. If this had in fact been a splice of a larger poem about war, then the rest would fit well. Overall, as the whole poem, I don't particularly think this is a good display. However, if it were utilized in a larger poem about war, then I can see this working. Maybe not for as long as you wrote it, but if you took a couple of the lines and utilized them then I can see it working.

[DragonHeart]

Basically, it's a list of words with no real connection to each other. There's no transitions, no explanation and half the lines don't even fit in with the theme. If there's a poem in it, I'm having a hard time seeing it. Maybe it's a style I've never seen before, but I rather doubt that.

Try expanding it more and see where that goes, maybe.

~DragonHeart~

[Lai]

I've seen this type of poem before, and it was in a poetry book. That poem had less material than this and was still considered poetry only because it was by someone famous who also had several longer, more cohesive poems in that book. I don't think it's fair that this shouldn't be considered poetry.

[Mistress Sheena]

You know that "poet" probably just paid them to put it in there right?
Just because it's been in a book, doesn't make it the greatest thing ever made.

There's even some bad stuff that's been published. So...yeah.

[DragonHeart]

I never said it wasn't, it's just something I've never seen before. I'm not very well-read in poetry I admit; the only poet I've read extensively is Robert Frost. It just doesn't read very well to me. Then again, I prefer rhyme myself, but that could be Frost's influence on me. If you happen to recall the name of the poet I'd be more than happy to check it out.

~DragonHeart~

[Lai]

Originally Posted by Piroblaze

You know that "poet" probably just paid them to put it in there right?
Just because it's been in a book, doesn't make it the greatest thing ever made.

There's even some bad stuff that's been published. So...yeah.

So...what? I never said it was good or the greatest thing ever made. All I said was that it was still considered poetry, as this should be, too.

[Chez Daja]

It lacks creativity, that's for sure. There's nothing special or unique about this piece at all. As Dragonheart said, maybe you just need to expand it a little, explain more to grab more attention.

Whether it is or isn't poetry, it's nothing special.