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| Cleft of Dimension Here you can view old classic threads, including: fanfics, pics, and great topics. |
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| Level: 25 | HP: 120 / 614 |
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EXP: 56% |
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#1 (permalink) | ||
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts
807
Gil: 64,648.90
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Love me, please
I look into her eyes,
those great eye's. Those blue eyes, glowing radiant Glowing with emotion, Glowing for me, She waves her hair at me While we walk down the road So many turns, So many steps, Please say you love me, Please She makes that smile at me, But I'm too scared to approach, I've got goosebumps on my skin, I can't go over to her, I can't tell her I love her, Two years later, I'm back home, I go to see her, I have flowers in my hands, I cant wait to see her, Went to her house today, Learnt she was gone, Learnt she went away, I asked How long.... She came back a week later, Learnt she had moved on, Learnt she Had gone...... Just a little somthing I composed, It dosent make sense to me However, more of a dream I had....., Just made me realise how thankful I was that i actually Faced my fears before this could actually happen, Not that it did but, it was a wake up call and I'm glad I took the chance to Love her before she found somone else.....
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Edited because of stupidness. |
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| Level: 11 | HP: 8 / 267 |
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#2 (permalink) | ||
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Fighting In Ivalice
Posts
160
Gil: 3,414.53
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Nice poem! I'll try to make one for my worthwhile...
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" A warrior takes sword in hand, clasping a gem to his heart. Engraving vanishing memories into the sword, He places finally honed skills into the stone. Spoken from the sword, handed down from the stone... Now the story can be told... Square Presents The 'Zodiac Brave Story'" |
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| Level: 16 | HP: 27 / 375 |
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#3 (permalink) | ||
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts
294
Gil: 27,086.04
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Cool. Do you write music to that? Or is that just a poem?
I like poems. I used to not, but being a songwriter, I like to read lyrics and poems. It's like reading a book, except it's MUCH shorter and expresses a feeling or image. Good job. ![]() |
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| Level: 25 | HP: 120 / 614 |
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EXP: 56% |
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#4 (permalink) | ||
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts
807
Gil: 64,648.90
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Thank you, I dont really do it this often but I gave it to her anyways, She liked it alot. Plus I can play the guitar so I did a few random notes as I sang it to her.
But I prefer to refer it as a poem. Got more depth.
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Edited because of stupidness. |
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| Level: 59 | HP: 1460 / 1460 |
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EXP: 42% |
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#5 (permalink) | ||
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: A hamsters' tummy.
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7,593
Gil: 1,363,052.17
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I like this. It's simple and it's sweet. I like the idea and the way you've let it out simply, rather than making it something too detailed, or not detailed enough. I look forward to seeing any other works you come up with.
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"I hate my fellow-man." - W.S. Gilbert.
![]() Here's a bunch of random people I ocassionally talk to. Heather<3, UntilTheEnd, Andy, Ally, Martin. Heather & Ally has nice lady lumpz. I watch lots of tiems. |
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| Level: 19 | HP: 50 / 455 |
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#6 (permalink) | ||
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Boston
Posts
427
Gil: 9,870.94
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Man, you just inspired me to write a poem, WTF! That is rare, the last few poems I have recently written were for that contest. Now I just wanna write one for me, !! Dude, keep it up! You got skill!
I just wrote my poem, for all who care to read, find it on The Author's corner thread that I started. Last edited by Tare, the Black; 09-06-2006 at 03:05 PM. |
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| Level: 19 | HP: 45 / 458 |
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#7 (permalink) | ||
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Boco shut up.
Posts
433
Gil: 5,984.78
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That was very good. That girl is realy geting to you. I know how it fills. I think I well Call My X or Not LOL. For Realy It Was very Nice. Two Hands Way up.
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| Level: 25 | HP: 120 / 614 |
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EXP: 56% |
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#8 (permalink) | ||
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts
807
Gil: 64,648.90
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Thanks, I wasnt really expecting compliments because its just something I cooked up in the middle of the night when I couldnt sleep,
Its why I didnt go to college, I didnt mean to inspire anyone but I'm glad I did, Thanks everyone XD
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Edited because of stupidness. |
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| Level: 14 | HP: 20 / 334 |
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#9 (permalink) | ||
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Merry Old England
Posts
237
Gil: 10,286.08
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Dude, that's pretty awesome. It's got a bit of emotion in it and that really brings it alive. It's pretty simple which really makes it quite nice and easy to read, it's quite inspirational too.
Btw, most great ideas come to people when they're trying to sleep. I dunno why, something to do with the sub-concious or not having distractions or whatever.
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![]() My TFF Family: So far it's just- My crazy cousin who is the weirdest person on Earth (if she is in fact on Earth) --FFX_FFX-2Aholic My evil vampire brother --Bangaathief My crazy sports-addicted brother --Doughboy My crazy, chocolate obsessed sister --~Crazy Chocobo~ My dark, mysterious sister --xox-NobodyNamine-xox My hyper niece who is obsessed with BLEACH --Xeim You wanna join my family? Go ahead and PM me! |
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| Level: 19 | HP: 50 / 455 |
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#10 (permalink) | ||
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Boston
Posts
427
Gil: 9,870.94
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yeah, Caije, thats where I usually write too, though now that school is staring for me, I hav to write less, but it doesn't always take the best masterpiece to infuse all around with the motivation to think or act with a renewed sense of themselves. You may just even be a poetic prophet!
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| Level: 25 | HP: 120 / 614 |
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EXP: 56% |
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#11 (permalink) | ||
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts
807
Gil: 64,648.90
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Had a flash today,
Was back there again, That same corridor as you, The Long corridor, Crowds broke, from door to door, Seperating me from you Get out of my way. I call your name, Turn back, Hear my cries Too far way now, your going away Once more I call, Once more you ignore The paths seperate, Different doors, Different rooms, Different worlds, ------- I like my other one better but this came to me today. Inspired by both a dream and a memory.
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Edited because of stupidness. |
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| Level: 19 | HP: 50 / 455 |
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EXP: 20% |
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#12 (permalink) | ||
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Boston
Posts
427
Gil: 9,870.94
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Nice, I like it. theres so much more going on in that one than maybe even you see. If you would allow, My next post will decipher what I believe the poem shows to me. So let me know what you think on that, ok? Right, I'll be round, and waiting !
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| Level: 19 | HP: 50 / 455 |
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#14 (permalink) | ||
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Boston
Posts
427
Gil: 9,870.94
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The first stanza depicts the anxiety towards her.
He(You) seems eager just to see her, then he is overwhelmed by life (the crowd) and is seperated from her. The second seems obvious. He cries out to her, or he tries to get her to notice him through all the others that hav gotten in the way, he feels abandoned, and tries to get back to the comfort of being with her, because he feels empty with out her. Third: She seems to have rejected him, and is deciding to go her own way, despite his cries, and sorrow. The last stanza seems to be a sad acceptance of fate. She is gone, and is not coming back. Note: All of this is by my personal observation ,and could conflict with everyone else's opinion, so I would like to state that my observations are completely my own, just shared with you. |
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