3 Songs of Mine

[midgarmako]

1. Sliver Stained Matress

Ouch! - The itchy flakes, they are aflaming
Into a dust of molded scratchings
Help it but they wont leave
Leather ice cream is revolting

...My Sliver Stained Matress is disgusting

Now! - I crawl into bed and its hurting
Bleeding and itching until it goes red
Sleep and sleep but it wont work
Find my place to revel on

...My Sliver Stained Matress is disgusting

Im ablazing, feeling red
I cant help myself, feeling bad
Take my clothes off but its still hot
Help me now before I wanna die

2. Inside Out

Its my own way to live through me
I want you to know that I can
I know you can help me there
Before we meet, I wanna smell one more time
I'd love to meet me, I'd love to hurt you
I want to kiss you, I want to kick me

Im on the inside outside, im looking in
Im here and I want to kill you
I want to feed you to my mind
Absord me and i'll kick you more

3. Grog and Drog Fog

It hurts when I touch that fog
That you keep inside your little box
Your small box of toys waiting to be sold
Right to the man with the pitchfolks and fires

Please oh please take me to that plaaace!!!

Oh god, please take me to that Grod and Drog Fog!

Yeah it hurts, yeah it hurts when you look at him
When im right here staring at you
I need you to leave me now, I want you to go and see

(Note: I know there not the best lyrics, but hey I dont care)

[DragonHeart]

Honestly, I don't really even know what to say on these. None of them made any sense to me whatsoever, which makes it hard to objectively review. Half the lines were so random I can't even figure out if it's supposed to have any meaning or flow. I'm sorry, that's just my opinion and I believe in being honest with fellow writers.

If you could clean them up a bit, maybe clarify your ideas and focus on a defined meaning they would sound better. You do have some interesting concepts, it's just hard to see through the rawness of the first draft.

~DragonHeart~

[Choco-Tennyo]

I wuv the lil frog that hurts people...........

[midgarmako]

Originally Posted by Choco-Tennyo

I wuv the lil frog that hurts people...........

Excuse me? I never talked about a Frog in the lyrics?

And most people say my songs are confusing but thats the way I like it for some reason, trust me my songs have deep meanings to me personally but its really hard to explain, well Sliver Stained Matress is about my acne, Inside Out is about relationships and how they mess people up and Grog and Drog Fog is about really dull days and wanting to be somewhere else.

[DragonHeart]

Well it's great if you can write songs for yourself, but if you plan on showing them to othes you should really consider cleaning them up a bit. If you want them to be reviewed, that is. If you don't want any kind of feedback that's fine, but you should say so in the beginning. Most of the people here don't give blind praise because we genuinely like offering advice and opinions.

~DragonHeart~