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| Level: 19 | HP: 47 / 471 |
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EXP: 87% |
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#1 (permalink) | ||
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I was trying to do something a little different by doing an AAB CCB DDE FFE kind of rhyme scheme. The last two stanzas were me just being bored and having fun with it. I'll go back to it and fix it up eventually.
If I told you right now without making a sound I want to see you lay down in my bed, Would you tell me lies, too and say that it's true, yet refuse my arms 'round your head? So tell me again when you'll let me know when I can see your white thighs in my hands. I'll obey every word however absurd And agree with your every command. [bored part] There's a fire inside which I beg to hide that burns deep within my loins. So I'll kiss on your throat and I'll send you afloat If you'll only allow me your groin. [/bored part] Any feedback on the first four stanzas?
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<img src ="http://img229.imageshack.us/img229/6016/llh49rf.gif"> Grow up. - El Wray Testy are we? Sit down to some nice music and relax. - Momo Mastermind Emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo, emo!! - Nin' Man, you emo! ^_^ - Nin' You're an idiot and need to grow up you're probably the biggest emo I've seen. Shut up and actually try to hold a thought. I can only assume the last two are also Nin'. What the hell is the theme with calling me emo and telling me I need to grow up? You people are retarded. |
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