~The vile reflection~ (A poem)

[Leon Kennedy]

can’t recognize
The person staring
Back at me,
What have I become?

I am a being filled with
Nonchalance, hate,
Power and vengeance,
Never does guilt affect me.

I live the life of a liar,
Manipulator,
Always getting what I want,
No matter what the cost.

I did not choose this path,
But I did not even stop myself,
I just ventured further,
Never caring about the consequence.

Now ice runs through my veins,
Instead of crimson blood,
Ruthless and detached,
Is this what I really want?

I continue looking at myself in the mirror,
And I realize that I need more,
But I cannot pull myself together,
I’ve never felt this way before.

The half opened window to my heart,
Is now completely shut,
My insides are torn apart,
How to love is what I forgot.

I have fallen from happiness to lonely greatness,
The pressure is building, the point fades away,
I’m just about ready to wake up from this...
This never-ending nightmare.
(Don't shoot me I'm following the trend )

[Rikkuffx]

I think its a very nice poem.There is a typo though, you should always proof read your work after typing at least twice. Which is why I will leave you to find the typo and fix it all on your own. The overall poem was amazing. However, in the end there are some parts that rhyme, but throughout the whole poem there is no rhyming except for a small pieces at the ending. You should either have the whole poem rhyme or not rhyme so it flows better. The rhyming at the end sort of screws up the flow. But it is your poem. But it was a great piece. Thanks for sharing!

[Leon Kennedy]

"Thank You....It was not one of my best, simply one I felt like sharing. I have many more but won't post them all in one day, that would be rude. Thank you for your comments. They are always appreciated."

[Rikkuffx]

Originally Posted by Leon Kennedy

"Thank You....It was not one of my best, simply one I felt like sharing. I have many more but won't post them all in one day, that would be rude. Thank you for your comments. They are always appreciated."

You're welcome. and do not say its not your best. Alot of my poems aren't my best but I still share them and become even better. Good work.

[Psiko]

I feel as though I am beating a dead horse here. I've looked over three poems today by three different people, and all three of them have issues with their flow. When it comes to poetry, the flow is easily the most important thing.

The biggest issue with your flow is the fact that the first half is filled with short lines, but in the second half the lines grow longer with each stanza. Think of it like a bass line, you want it to be steady and smooth all the way through. If you throw in irregularities after you've already set the beat, it'll throw the whole thing off. Or something like that...><

Word choice is another problem. I literally stopped reading to cringe when I saw the word "nonchalance" in there. Talk about killing the flow. The syllables in that particular line are similar to those around it, but that word itself is quite the mouthful. In my opinion, it should be removed and replaced with a few smaller words that convey the same image. Even the word "indifference" works better, but that is just my opinion on that.

Also I feel the word "Manipulator" is not strong enough to stand as a line of its own. Add a simple "the" or "a" in there, and place a colon after "manipulator". Commas and periods are not the only forms of punctuation, people!

That being said, I do like the poem as a whole. Fix the flow and you'll have a great poem on your hands.

[Leon Kennedy]

"I appreciate your opinion. However a poem is a way of expression. It will not fit everyone's "flow", it fits the person who writes it best. Everyone else is simply left to interpret it in their own way as all people do."