Tiskarian's Release

(Near the end of fighting Dain, his former mentor, turned enemy)

Tiskarian parried as Dain swung his double bladed sword viciously towards his torso. Tiskarian's strength was nothing compared to the power of Dain's slashes, and he was feeling extremely exhausted.
"Come on Tiskarian, i trained you and this is all you have? I'm very....very dissapointed," he sighed as he thrust towards Tiskarian's head.
Tiskarian ducked and slashed wildly at Dain's legs, but Dain calmly jumped into the air, kicked Tiskarian so hard that he was flown across the room, and he smacked hard against the stone wall.
"It's time, my child," Dain grinned. He reached over to a lever, and Tiskarian desperatly reached for his sword, but it was too late. Steel bars and chains closed around his wrists and legs, and Tiskarian screamed in pain as they continued to harshly squeeze on his arms, losing all circulation of blood.
"What are you doing to me?!" Tiskarian wailed in pain. Dain calmly walked over to Tiskarian, and looked at the pitiful form of Tiskarian crying and screaming in pain.
"Tiskarian it is time. I have watched you for a long time, and it grieves me to see someone lose so much. Your dear friend Rylak, lost in the line of battle. Your friends and family of Korin. And of course, your beloved mother. All this pain is too much for a child of your age, and i wish for you to go through this no longer," Dain sighed.
"You bastard! You were the one that killed them! YOU killed them all. YOU did everything! Why should i listen to YOU?!" Tiskarian yelled trying to break free, but it was no use.
"I can relieve you of all pain, isn't that what you want?"
"Well..yes, i don't want anymore killing. I don't want to lose anybody else. Can you please just end this war?" Tiskarian pleaded, crying even heavily now.
"If that is what you wish Tiskarian, i will end this war. But you know why i am fighting it right?" Dain grinned
"And why is that?" Tiskarian replied, concerned about the grin on Dain's face.
"I fought it for you. I have been trying to retrieve you. That is the only reason this has been fought. I've wanted you. It is your fault that all these people died." Dain laughed.
"No, its not my fault. It can't be..." Tiskarian replied with wide eyes from shock. "No it can't be!" his eyes growing even wider with tears dripping down his cheeks.
"Don't worry my child," Dain replied placing his hand on Tiskarian's shoulder. "I have a solution for this. You see, pain is the effect of many qualities, such as love, caring, friendship, but you desire no pain. For there to be pain in ones soul, there must be good. But if one desires no pain....why have good?" Dain explained, as he slowly raised a needle out of Tiskarian's view.
"Love and caring our some of human's best virtues," Tiskarian questioned. "Love and caring is what keeps us from continuing in a never-ending war around the world."
"Yes, but, some of these characteristics..are...to be sacrificed for a life of no pain. What if i promised you the loss of these characteristics, AND, the end of this war?"
"Well, that would be nice, but i love. It is a part of me.."Tiskarian still questioned.
"Listen to me damnit! You are such a selfish bitch! You have the opportunity to end the war, and stop the suffering of millions, and yet you won't sacrifice anything for your people!"
Tiskarian, with thoughts racing through his mind, was very confused. "Just end this war! That is all i want. I don't care about the loss of pain, i just want this war to end!"
Dain grinning replied, "Don't worry, the war will end. But you will be relieved of all good in your soul."
"What? No! What are you going to do?!" Tiskarian yelled in panic.
"I already said, im going to end this war," Dain finished as he shoved the needle into the side of Tiskarian's neck. Tiskarian's head drooped to his right shoulder as he fell into a dark sleep, the effect of the shot given. Dain leaned close to Tiskarian's ear, and whispered quietly,
"I'm going to end this war....and begin a genocide...."


This is part of the book im writing, (im 14) im just wondering if anybody can help me with good parts and bad parts. Just tell me what was good, and what needs work. Thanks.

This is the end of the first half of the book, but i actually want to spend my life developing it into a game. Im just asking, please give me some tips, harsh or praise.