A Few of my Poems

[ACloudintheSky]

Feelings Left Unsaid

He wanted to let her know
All this time its been bottled up.
But he knows she’ll say no.
And things will never be the same.

The picture in his head is clear,
They will feel awkward in each others presence.
The great friendship they once had,
Will be broken up in silence.
Even though its killing him to hold back,
The feelings that grow on slowly,
And now they overwhelm him,
Her picture in his head, constantly.

He wanted to let her know. (What she means to him)
All this time its been bottled up. (The Feelings he has for her)
But he knows she’ll say no. (He’s accustomed to it)
And things will never be the same. (The friendship they have)

People keep on pushing him to tell,
But they don’t know anything at all.
All they want is to see him fail,
Just to wait and watch him fall.
If he ever tells her how he feels,
It will be on his own time and pace,
But for now he remains silent,
And is lost forever in time and space.

The regrets that he has
The silence in his voice,
The screaming in his heart,
These are his faults.

So now all he has in one request,
As he stays silent, not wanting to speak the truth.
"Just let us continue with what we’re doing," he says,
Letting his heart stay in deep recluse.
That way they keep what they already have,
Something that he doesn’t want to end.
He’ll continue telling himself that he’ll tell you,
But he doesn’t know when that will happen.

He wanted to let her know. (What she means to him)
All this time its been bottled up. (The Feelings he has for her)
But he knows she’ll say no. (He’s accustomed to it)
And things will never be the same. (The friendship they have)
I’ll never let you know. (What she means to me)
Even though it’s killing me inside. (The Feelings I have for her)
I know you’ll say no. (I’m accustomed to it)
Things will remain the same. (The friendship that we have)

[ACloudintheSky]

Untitled

I look across the lake,
I see the beauty of life.
But I cant walk on water.
A flaw I'll have to deal with.

I start to swim,
The little things in life are just eating me away.
I get nearer to the edge,
And I begin to sink further down.

I sink into the distant blue,
As I look up and see you smiling,
I dont know what to do,
I reach my hand hoping that youll save me.

You just sit their and watch,
As my body slips deeper,
Into the ocean blue.
I smile as I watch you start fading.

My lungs fill up with the truth,
And facts of what this world is made of.
People enjoying watching,
People slowing suffering before them.

This story is about me though.
And how I never even attempted.
Im stilling waiting here, on the edge.
For some sign that will never come.

[ACloudintheSky]

A Beautiful Mistake

I continue to stroke with my brush
Your face is coming out so well, As I continue to work.
I get deeper into the painting and I slip
Everything I knew, I thought, was destroyed
I cant go back now, why did I have to see this
Your heart is as awful as my mistake
Its ok I can ignore it and paint over it
There we go now you perfect again,
Just as I first saw you
No memories of knowing the true you
After all I decided to ignore that part of you

Your face is coming out so well, As I continue to work
Than I mess up once more, Why does it happen again and again
I thought I could keep ignoring it !
The way you act all the time
Its starting to drive me slowly insane
Insane as I look at this perfect piece of work
Its almost to cruel...

Don't worry though I can paint back over it
Than your mistakes are no more...

The lighting is so perfect now
Your face is came out so well, as I lie the brush down
The picture came out so well... its perfect
Than I look over to you and than back at the painting
I slash the painting with my knife and destroy the picture
I slowly gaze back at you and the picture
And all that comes to mind is one simple sentence
" A Beautiful Mistake"

[ACloudintheSky]

These thoughts Im having might slowly start to tear me apart
Maybe I should just ignore whatever it is I am feeling
Maybe I should just stop
Stop everything that makes me happy
The only thing that seems to come from it is sadness

How can something that makes you happy make you sad ? you ask
The truth be told, I dont know.
How can something that makes you smile make you hurt?
The truth be told, I dont know
How can something that brings you joy make you depressed?
The truth be told,
I dont know...

One day I will open a door to complete happiness
This door will have no darkness inside
It will make me smile, it will make me happy, and it will bring me joy
As of now though, I will continue to guess and question
Question all those around me and who I talk to
Because I will make this darkness fade

[Psiko]

First off, I must say that the content of some of those poems impressed me. You did a very good job of capturing some raw emotion in a few places, and that isn't always easy to do. I commend you on that.

Feelings Left Unsaid felt more like a song than a poem to me, when I was reading it. The parts in parenthesis could easily belong to the background vocals, or something like that. In a poem, though, it feels awkward. I will say that this one had a lot of emotion in it, and I can somewhat sympathize with that feeling of hopelessness. I used to suffer from that all through school. It isn't a very good feeling, that is for sure.

Untitled left me slightly confused. Up until the final stanza I thought I had it pegged. Now I'm not so sure, so if you could help clarify things a bit, that would be great. I'll take a guess that you feel as though nobody notices you, and would fail to notice even if you were drowning? I'm probably way off on that.

I had one real problem with A Beautiful Mistake, and that is the fact that several lines carry on for too long. It kills any chance of flow, like the parentheses on Feelings Left Unsaid. Beyond that, I felt this poem was probably your strongest. It needs to editing and fine-tuning, but it is really good.

Your last poem is another good one on emotion. It portrays that hopeless feeling; that you'll never find love. And that when you do, it stabs you in the back, leaving a scar that never heals completely. That pit of dispair where everything hurts: depression. Very powerful.

[ACloudintheSky]

First of all I would like to thank you for taking note of my writings, and I must also agree with you that alot of these need some fine tuning. And you were pretty good at depicting what each poem meant, except for untitled. But then again most people, atleast to my view of it, weren't really supposed to get that one. I guess i should break it up into sections though if i were to properly explain the poem, though i must say I feel a bit odd.

I look across the lake,
I see the beauty of life.
But I cant walk on water.
A flaw I'll have to deal with.

This basically explains that I see something that is truley great in the world. Something that i deeply desire to have but I will have to fight to get to it. Thats why i stated that I couldn't just walk over there. It's a trigger to show people that its not an easy task, because swimming by itself isnt that difficult but when worded like this, atleast I would like to think so, it makes the task seem alot more difficult

I start to swim,
The little things in life are just eating me away.
I get nearer to the edge,
And I begin to sink further down.

This is my desperate attempt to get there but the small things in life are starting to drag me down, eating away at me and making my goal seem alot more hopeless then it really is.

I sink into the distant blue,
As I look up and see you smiling,
I dont know what to do,
I reach my hand hoping that youll save me.

This is me seeing the object that I so desperatly want (in this case its represented through a woman). But she doesn't help me and doesn't give me any signs that she will.

You just sit their and watch,
As my body slips deeper,
Into the ocean blue.
I smile as I watch you start fading.

Same as the line before I am just giving more emphasis on it and also towards the end of the stanza I come to face the reality of where I am going.

My lungs fill up with the truth,
And facts of what this world is made of.
People enjoying watching,
People slowing suffering before them.

Me realizing that I can't achieve the goal which makes me sing furhter and furhter as My breathing begins to weakin.

This story is about me though.
And how I never even attempted.
Im stilling waiting here, on the edge.
For some sign that will never come.

Then I finally awake from my day dream and I realize that I will never come to get to this perfect place because I always think about the doubt and the chances that I will have to take to get there. Its a story of never trying because your filled with doubt. Hope this answers some questions.