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04-30-2006, 05:23 PM
| Level: 13 | HP: 13 / 306 |
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EXP: 25% |
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#1 (permalink) | ||
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: in some house. on some street.
Posts
202
Gil: 2,075.12
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A Drop of Water.
Together we fought.
Together we fell. Together we made our way through hell. Death and pain, Sick and life, We've been across almost every strife. I held your hand. You helped me stand. We brought about love. You watched her float above. We managed a hope, While the hand would then grope. Tangling and twisting, Slashing and fisting, We crossed through this land, Without ever jisting. Managing a smile, It worked..for a while. So I was left alone, You had found an empty home. Delivering what once was yours. The orphans helped with your chores. Finding it in solitude. Managing through light and crude. I knew we'd meet again. You left for worse. I stayed for better. But only rain could make us wetter. Trying to maintain this heart, One of us had to be smart. She was with us, you knew that. And when you cried, I died inside. So, when it rains, And I'm still here. We're both remains. And with luck, Just a falling drop would pluck... Your darkest fears away.
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 think of me...think of me fondly, when we've s a i d good-bye... ..we all live in a yellow submarine.. 'One day, you're going to come to want to come my side, love.' 'And why is that?' '..curiosity.'  |
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04-30-2006, 05:25 PM
| Level: 8 | HP: 3 / 185 |
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EXP: 40% |
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#2 (permalink) | ||
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: England
Posts
89
Gil: 2,950.89
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Hmm A Typical Female Love Song ... Love Is Weak ... Only In Pride And Honour Can You Find Greatness
OneWinged Angel
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Quote:
I Landed On What Was Mine .... The Promised Land, And If Any Man Woman Or Child Finds It Necessary To Challenge Me For My Land They Shall Fall Too, But They Will Not Land On The Promised Land , Instead They Shall Land Firmly On My Blade And Then .... They Shall Become Apart Of The Promised Land, And In Turn Become A Part Of My Everlasting Strength |
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04-30-2006, 06:04 PM
| Level: 13 | HP: 13 / 306 |
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EXP: 25% |
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#3 (permalink) | ||
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: in some house. on some street.
Posts
202
Gil: 2,075.12
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I'm just going to pretend that was constructive critcism...
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think of me...think of me fondly, when we've s a i d good-bye... ..we all live in a yellow submarine.. 'One day, you're going to come to want to come my side, love.' 'And why is that?' '..curiosity.' |
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04-30-2006, 06:12 PM
| Level: 31 | HP: 218 / 774 |
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EXP: 96% |
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#4 (permalink) | ||
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: USA
Posts
1,381
Gil: 25,441.16
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Quote:
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05-01-2006, 01:15 PM
| Level: 13 | HP: 13 / 306 |
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EXP: 25% |
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#5 (permalink) | ||
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: in some house. on some street.
Posts
202
Gil: 2,075.12
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OKAY! Well- anyone else have anything to say?
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think of me...think of me fondly, when we've s a i d good-bye... ..we all live in a yellow submarine.. 'One day, you're going to come to want to come my side, love.' 'And why is that?' '..curiosity.' |
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05-01-2006, 02:36 PM
| Level: -INF | HP: NAN / -INF |
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EXP: NAN% |
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#6 (permalink) | |||
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I do, first of off no flaming ^_^
Second of all nice poem Tifa! A word of advise though, while reading the poem, it seemed to *ME* that you TRIED to rhyme in your wording. You shouldn't do that, the best poems are not the ones which rhyme, but those which have a deeper meaning that that which is presented. But if you were not trying to rhyme good job and keep at it! |
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05-01-2006, 02:48 PM
| Level: 13 | HP: 13 / 306 |
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EXP: 25% |
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#7 (permalink) | ||
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: in some house. on some street.
Posts
202
Gil: 2,075.12
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Okey doke. Thanks for the advice!
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think of me...think of me fondly, when we've s a i d good-bye... ..we all live in a yellow submarine.. 'One day, you're going to come to want to come my side, love.' 'And why is that?' '..curiosity.' |
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