The Inner Man OoC/Comments here

**Andromeda** · 02-05-2006, 09:27 PM

Well I think it was Merlin that suggested the idea of having an OoC thread type for stories since someone brought up the fact there is often not a lot of comments in the story threads. One reason being that people do not want to ruin the author's thread.

Well I am copying the intro I gave in the thread for the story.

Well I am back from the last story I submitted, though this one is going to be a lot different than the last one. This story, is actually an idea I have for a new animation/manga/anime you get the idea. I had this idea while back and never really did much with it until recently. I saw a review about an anime in the Newtype magazine which happened to have a few parallels with my story. So I wanted to get it down before I lost it and before someone else makes another anime very similar to mine. While to a certain degree the originality is lost as I have read a few others that have some similar circumstances, I am still going ahead with it. It is how things are different that makes it interesting anyway.

Well I will be posting episodes of this, I really do not know how long I am going to make it, I figure I could go for 26 or even more. But seeing as where I am at the moment, I think I am going to stick to the 26 episode idea and see if it popular enough for me to write more.

Also this is not really in script form, but book form, since setting in the details of the environment and the character's reactions are rather important. If it was a script it would be 22 pages long rough, one page a minute, 22 minutes for an episode. I am not sure about anime if they have different guidelines, but 22 minutes is the norm for American TV, and I am pretty certain most anime fall into that category, unless it be OVA. But since this is in book form, there is a little more packed into the pages, so it is roughly 16/17 pages long, but in script form would probably be close 22 minutes, maybe a touch longer.

As I said in the thread title, the title is a working title, I needed to call it something until I figured out a more suitable name. Anyway, to introduce the story would be spoiliing one of the important elements of the entire show. So I will not provide the summaries I made. However, this is a Pseudo-Futuristic/Comedy Drama. Yeah, does not make a lot of sense, but it is a drama with a lot of comedic value as the show progresses. The first episode though is violent and bloody, which will set an odd mood for the show, seeing as it is more comedy than anything else at times. But there will be serious points.

So on the table is the Episode 1 I wrote. It is rather long, so I had to divide it into three posts. But anyway, I will talk more about it, once I know people have read it, since I prefer not to give away the story at the moment.

However I will say when I first started writing the story I absolutely hated the main character. I just wanted to strangle his neck, but by the end I managed to adjust to him and I actually like him.

Aleks · 02-07-2006, 07:09 AM

Andromeda, I'm really impressed. This is great. I nearly started crying out of this not being an anime. It's great, the idea is good. This is much better then a lot of professional animes we get these days. I'm really looking forward to read what happens next, if you write episode 2.

Just one thing, I don't think you can get all of that into ONE episode on only 22 minutes. Or it's probably me doing a bad measure.

**Andromeda** · 02-07-2006, 05:08 PM

Yeah, considering it is not full script, I cannot judge the length of it yet. But if I can make it into an anime at some point, I hope to know then, since I will be doing out in script form. I am not really sure were I needing to cut it down or in half where I would want to do that. Considering just about everything almost is important for development sake, I cannot really cut anything out. But I really do not know if cutting it down, since I like the part where it ends right now, I would want to try to split this into two episodes, rather than spliting somewhere else and having it continue on for a few more minutes before ending.

But thanks for the encouragement, I am planning on writing out more episodes as I have time. I fill a little more in the mood for something like this since it is not long and epic, but still contains length. I can stop at a point and still feel like I am not cutting it off.

Hopefully I can maintain the same level quality throughout the story.

I am a little in debate if I want to do 13 or 26 episodes at the moment. Naturally something like this can go for a long time if it wanted to. But for my own sake I will keep it at 13/26 episodes. I figured for the time being I would not time jump like I had debated. I will keep the character the same age, and if it is popular enough, I will make a second season so to speak that takes place a couple years later and then Chiko will have to a whole new set and problems to do with.

**LocoColt04** · 02-12-2006, 01:53 PM

Well, Andro, I won't be picking on you for little grammatical things. You and I have discussed this time and time again in the past, so I don't need to push it here. Besides, if you ever want/need an editor, let me know. If I have the time, I'd be more than willing to run through and clean anything up for you, any time.

So, let's get down to business.

OVERALL FIRST IMPRESSION: Wow. Nice setup. Great opener. Being thrust right into the action works well with anime, in my opinion. It makes you wonder what'll happen next, rather than be forced to watch all the lame setup at the beginning.

UPON COMPLETION OF THE FIRST EPISODE: It seems so long for a single episode. Then again, as I believe you mentioned, it takes a lot of pages to make a 22 minute cartoon.

The first portion of the middle post was a bit slow. I guess that would probably be leading up to the commercial break? I think a great place to bring it back in would be the car chase upon departure. Another good action-packed scene which would bring viewers' (but for now, readers) attention full-circle.

From that chase onward, the rest of the episode was capturing. All of the technical talk, all of the drama... good stuff. I love that Chiko was so impatient that it came back to bite him in the ass afterward. Schoolgirl Chiko? This should prove to be quite interesting.

FINAL OVERVIEW: Very well written. I'm curious to see what's next.

**Andromeda** · 05-28-2006, 04:01 PM

Well I have started working on the second episode, actually I have been for a while, I was in the process of trying to sort out what will happen in the progress of the episodes so I know what I am going. I finally got the basics of that laid out, with all my work at my job I have not had a lot of time for this and really slacked off on it. Unfortunately when I wrote this, I did not have a job and thought I was going to have plenty of time to write. Funny how things change so easily. But with the first really pause on my work since February, I have been finally able to start thinking about this since I thought it would be simple to do, only have to write in 15-20 pages binges, that is pretty easy. Well not when you do not have that time.

Anyway, I am planning on getting the second episode up soon I hope, I am aimming for next weekend, and writing between now and then on it. Once I get back into the spirit of it, it should go by pretty quickly. So then I will leave you with preview for the next episode.

Chiko has been turned into an eight year girl and now forced to deal with his new life and body at the stature of only three and half feet tall...Mashiro laughs as the narrative started serious and falls into comedy.

"Stop laughing this is a serious matter!" Chiko screams at Mashiro.

"Ah come on, you have to find the humor in this, really. Chiko the playboy and artist, who makes all the women's hearts jump now thing more than little child. Sounds like divine justice, or maybe poetic in your case."

"Why you, after I am threw strangling the doc you are next..."

"Oh look the preview is almost over."

"What?!"

"Next episode of The Inner Man, Lost, how will poor Chiko live life a little girl," Mashiro says laughing at the end.

"Don't miss it or I'll strangle you next! Teehee!"

"Little much don't you think?"

Enjoy!

And thanks for your comments and thoughts, I hope that the second episode and maintain the same excitement and entertainment of the first. Hope it does not disappoint.

**Andromeda** · 06-04-2006, 09:24 PM

Well I got the second episode up like I promised that I would. This episode definitely starts to set a different tone than the previous episode. There is a lot more variety I would say in the emotions and feelings that you see throughout it. It is also a little shorter than the first and probably will fill more like a full episode rather than one than is too long. At least that was the feeling that I got from it. It is actually only 5,000 characters shorter than the last making it like 1000 words shorter or so, but still it does feel short than the first. But aside from that I will let you guys put down your questions and comments before saying much more about it.

Angantyr · 06-05-2006, 06:19 AM

I have just finished reading it and can say I am rather impressed, I see you have the whole 'cute' thing going on which though it seem's quite weird, it works well. I can picture this being made into a full length anime show though, have you drawn any images of it yet?

Also I was listening to the FF1 OST at the time and it seemed to fit into what was going on in the story oddly enough. I look foward to reading more of it down the track

**Andromeda** · 06-05-2006, 06:33 AM

Thanks, hopefully I can keep everyone entertained as the episodes move along. As for making actual character designs for the story, I have not done that yet. But I figure I will probably at some point once I get the episodes and story more solidified. I guess if I want it to be an anime at any point I'll need to learn Japanense and make it into a Manga form, not that it being a manga is a requirement for it to be an anime. It just tends to help probably.

FF1 soundtrack huh, I will have to go listen to and hear what you were hearing. It might provide some ideas for me maybe. I will have to keep in mind.

Usually I have been watching a few episodes of anime each day to keep it fresh in me and the comedy spirit as well. So I find something that is serious and comedic so I can keep in the mind set while I am writing. I hope that it is achieving its goal.

**Andromeda** · 07-02-2006, 10:17 PM

I am currently working on the third episode in the series, extremely long hours of work have delayed me. But I have been finally able to resume writing again and I am over half way finished with the episode. I should ideally be finished with in in the next couple of days providing my hours allow for it. And now for the preview for the next episode.

"Now living in Osaka, Chiko must deal with yet another trial in his new life. This new trial could be even worse than all of his past dilemmas, how will Chiko be able handle...elementary school!"

"What?! You can't be serious, why I am going to school?"

"Didn't you know?"

"I don't remember this in the agreement, why do I have to go to school?"

"Aw, and I got that adorible school girl outfit from the doctor too."

"No, get that away from me!"

"Come here Chiko."

"Get away! Next episode of The Inner Man, School."

"Will Chiko be able to survive math class?"

"Don't miss it or I'll strangle you! Teehee!"

"I think I heard that somewhere before..."

Hopefully I will be able to keep writing the episodes if my work allows for it.

**Andromeda** · 07-04-2006, 10:46 PM

Just posting to you all know that the third episode is up in place now. This one really starts to set in the comedy that hopefully actually be funny to more than just myself. I know when I was re-reading it I had some laughs. I'm hoping that means it might actually be funny. Well, I have already got the fourth episode in the works. And once I have two previous writing engagements completed, I will be working on the fourth episode. But hopefully it will not be a month before the next episode is posted.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the third episode.

**Andromeda** · 07-23-2006, 04:01 PM

Well I'm a little late on the posting of this, since it was supposed to every two weeks. But, I am pretty close. Only like 4 days off, that is not too bad. Normally I put up a preview for the next episode, but it sort of simpled my mind when I started writing it, and since I managed to get all it nearly written today, there was not much to be previewing. But I still have to re-read it once before posting, which I'll do a little later this evening. I'll put up the preview for the next episode now. Late as it.

"Chiko thought dealing with school was bad enough, but how will he handle his newest crisis...boys!"

"You can't be serious. I'm a guy!"

"Such is irony."

"Boys...I can't believe this, who is making this stuff up?"

"Pervert!"

"Hey, watch what you say!"

"Haha, pervert!"

"Stop it! Oh my its almost over. Next episode of The Inner Man, Boys!"

"Pervert, you already thinking bad thoughts!"

"I'm going to kill you! Don't missed it or I'll strangle him. Teehee!"

"Hey, don't drag me into your threats!"

**Andromeda** · 07-24-2006, 09:59 AM

Well the next episode is up now, Episode 4, Boys. I am not sure if I am getting this humor thing down. But I think things worked out well for me in the end. There is definitely some amusing parts in the episode, and some serious ones. Please let me know what you think. I need to konw how bad my humor is or not.

Well I will be starting on the next episode in a week or so, one week break between them. Hope you are looking forward to it. There will be some exciting new things in the next two episodes to come. I am definitely going to be having fun writing them.