Worth the trouble?

[Tifa]

Title is slightly misleading. In any case, I'm kind of pissed about some people so I wanted to vent and get opinions as well. (And open up for discussion on other related matters.)

Short summary of events, my "friends" ****ed up my birthday, temporarily stole my camera and lied to me about a bit of shit. General douchey shit. At this point, I wouldn't put their worth past $10. Unfortunately there are other people in that friends group (innocent) who I have to keep up good ties with (namely roommate and someone else). Its kind of at the point for me where I feel like I want to throw up at the thought of hanging out with these people, haha.

Is it worth it, in your opinions, to keep up a charade of being friendly (including hanging out once in a while) just to stay good with friendships? What about in the case of a relationship-- is it worth it to keep it or try for it if you can't stand the other's friends? Similar situations?

[Silver]

I would say it's not worth it to keep a charade, but you should do your best to genuinely get along with these people. Messing up one birthday isn't the end of the world, neither is a single lie.

It can be hard, but if you're anything like me, it's best to forgive and carry on. But this only works if you really can forgive. And I know what I'm talking about. Despite getting kicked out a couple of times and ****ed over a little financially by my parents I still try to be cool to them if I can. And my mates. Stoners do tend to let you down half the time, but they're human and shit happens, y'know?

In the end what you do is up to you, but make sure you realise the value of those friends who've stuck by you as well as the value of those who haven't. Half the time it's better to just forgive and move on....

[dimmufan]

In my opinion, no. If these people say that they are your friend, but they go behind your back and out of their way to f*** you over, then they are no friends at all. I can understand some friends razzing you just to let you know that they are still thinking about you but people have their limits. It sounds to me that they went a wee bit too far.

If you wanna try to distance the innocent friends and yourself away from the not-so-innocent ones, then set up a gathering amongst yourselves. Go bowling or something. That's always a good idea. Just try to do things with your "real" friends rather than hang out with the faux friends.

[Secret Azn Man]

You already know what I think. I think violence is in order.

But since that's not an option, end all connection with those **** nuts. You can still be friends with the rest of the group. I don't know why people say you have to accept all the groups.

[Chez Daja]

It's not worth it.

If you can't stand them, why bother?

Keep your friends, but kindly ditch the rest. Nobody can FORCE you to hang out with people if you don't like or trust them.

Maybe at some point, you can learn to forgive them and the building blocks will appear, but for now, leave them to their own stupidity and don't waste another breath on them.

Hope you feel better soon.

[w1ngzer0]

Originally Posted by Tifa

Is it worth it, in your opinions, to keep up a charade of being friendly (including hanging out once in a while) just to stay good with friendships? What about in the case of a relationship-- is it worth it to keep it or try for it if you can't stand the other's friends? Similar situations?

Coming from me and other men that have gone through a lot. Your situation isn't very clear but, i'll try to make the best of it; based off your last paragraph.

Is it worth keeping a friendship if you have to continually go through charades? no, its not. Why? because life is too short to deal with people like that. You deal with people in the real world all the time that act like that; why would you want friends like that? Friends are suppose to be support through life.

On the relationship side. Here is my tip on that. Remember that you are 2 separate people and have your own interests, personalities, and favorite things.Don't let her grab you by the gems and control you. Just do everything for yourself and not someone else. Same with her. Don't try to change her.

You just gotta keep things separate for sanity reasons. My parents have been together for 25 years and never had a fight. Why? because they understood what i just explained. My dad loves football, golfing and fishing. He goes and does thoughs things WITHOUT her.

While she likes gardening, home improvement, and hiking.

They both enjoy relaxing times, movies, and computers.

Hope this helps you.

[Taco]

Tell them that they pissed you off. Tell them that they fucked up, and they need to make it better before you can hang out with them again. If they refuse to, then the hell with them. If you still can't stand them afterwards, then yes, just hang out with the good people and tell the good people you don't like the bad people. Take a stand. Anyhoo...

Wuv, Yer Mom

[Yuki-onna]

**** 'em. No trust, no friend. Friends don't stab eachother in the back, now do they? You are so much better off without them.

Trust me, walk away. They don't deserve any of your time. You -> too good for them.

[Phantom]

Don't even let them get to you. In other words: Keep your good friends close, and your pissy friends far away, excuse my french. Friends are here to support you, to comfort you, and to be like a brother or sister to you. Don't hang on to loose bagage, throw em out. Maybe one day they will grow up and you can start rebuilding that friendship with them, but for now dump em, set them free. You deserve better, don't settle for less.

[X SlAyEr]

Is it worth it, in your opinions, to keep up a charade of being friendly (including hanging out once in a while) just to stay good with friendships? What about in the case of a relationship-- is it worth it to keep it or try for it if you can't stand the other's friends? Similar situations?

well , It's worth it when they standing with you in anything and rscue from trubles AND they loves you for who you are
HOWEVER, the friends which that you said , they not friendly remember "Friend never stole from each other"
well don't hanging out whit them ,you don't know maybe the kidnap you like they stole from you ,be Attention and don't stay good with friendships
no it's not worth it to keep it or even try