Um....excuse me, but your pants are on fire.

[Cheesevixen]

Well, no one is perfect in this life right? We all as humans do really dumb things, and we all know this fact to the point where we actually expect it in some way or another. However, which would be worse. The act, or lying about it. I am an honest freak myself. I don't care what you do as long as you don't lie to me. Let's take my latest experience for example.

When I was going out with this one guy I really like he claimed that he was a faithful guy an would never give me any cause to worry. He gets a couple calls from his Ex. gf an I don't think anything of it. Because I figure he know he can get away with anything as long as he tells me. So why would he lie? It turns out that he saw her behind my back when we were going out an never told me. An according to her acted as if I was nothing more than a bitchy boss. Boss yes, but I can't say I was ever bitchy with any of my employee's. I love them all <3. So which was worse honestly. Going behind my back with his ex. or lying got me about it. Before you answer think of this first. He of course denied having done anything with her. However, once he lied my trust in him was gone. Therefore he could also be lying about that. Which make the actual cause worse in my eye's. Oh well.

So do you think lying is worse? Or the act in itself? This can be from one of your experiences as well. In fact I would love to hear about your experiences as well.

[Quistis]

Lying to you about it definitely. It somehow entails malice on his part. Like..guilt feelings about it. But that's just me. Your bf may just be afraid of how you would react to it so he opted to keep it. But I am not a guy so I really don't know ^^

I had a similar experience back then when my ex started emailing me again. At first I answered all his emails without thinking any of it. Each instance, I told my current bf about it. But then my ex started sounding weird in the email, telling me that he dreamed about him and me together that night and stuff and asking me how I feel about it. When I told my current bf, well, he wasn't very pleased with my ex (calling him a douchebag lol). Eventually telling me to stop answering the emails if I really didn't care anymore. Which I promptly did. Never heard from my ex so far thankfully.

I realized that it was a mistake that I talked to my ex. I really didn't know what was I thinking. Maybe I answered his emails to have the opportunity to tell him that I found someone else (which I did. So I found it awfully strange that he still tried to hit on me). The breakup with him was very painful for me long ago. And I felt that I wanted to hurt him back with every opportunity that I can have. Which is stupid really since I should thank him for letting me go. =P

But the fact that I was completely honest with my bf has saved a lot of damage (in the relationship) that could come from that mistake that I did. (e.g. mistrust) .

[Chez Daja]

I'm with Quistis on this one.

However, the act itself was still wrong, at least telling the truth means the person realised the errors of their ways and attempted to fix it.

I'd never get overly-friendly with an ex again. My second boyfriend, Chris, contacted me after we broke up and we began flirting again (I was uninvolved with anybody at the time), but I regretted it.

I'm cool with just talking, but being all friendly? Naaah... It's wrong

Anyway, lying is the worst thing. People would rather be hurt and know the truth rather than live on happy but without a real reason to be.

That's just my opinion, though...

[Keisuke Takahashi]

Hmm that's a toughie. Well for my views, I think doing the actual act is far worse than lying about it. Or well Lying in general. Iono, but from past relations I've had very overzealous girlfriends that would get jealous at the blink of an eye. I could be over reacting but none the less they were quite the jealous type. Not that I ever did anything, but she would just get angry when she heard I was talking to other girls >.>; But I guess that's "normal" to some extent.

Iono, reading your story it sounds like, to me, that the guy kinda used you... in the sense that he wasn't quite yet over his ex, thus seeing her behind your back? Usually if you break up with someone, you normally don't want to see/hang out with that person unless for some benefit. Depending on who broke up, which sounds like the girl did, he had some residual feelings for her. And the girl, realising what she lost after the fact, wanted him back and thus started talking to him again, and he went for it without telling you.

As for him doing so behind your back, I think it's messed up. Lying aboug it makes it worse, so in this situation both are in essence ****ed up.... blah I lost my train of thought... damn all nighter.. -_-

[Cheesevixen]

See Kieus...I don't see why he would want her at all honestly. I agree the whole "seeing her behind my back" was really degrading. However...maybe he feared I would lose my temper. However, Still, why would he want to see her? They rarely talked, but with me in the pic she came back into his life. She is the one that cheated on him, had a kid, an then gave it up, and now she wants him back? Girl needed to make up her mind. An now that we aren't together anymore she's gone. Weird.,,sorry I am ranting again.

Anyways, I had a lot of experiences like that Quistis an Chez. Lying makes everything worse. Yeah, if it isn't worse.....than it definitly makes things worse.