So I'm moving to a different, scary part of the country and need a kick, please?

[Chez Daja]

So yeah.

As some of you will know, I am having to move away from the area I currently live in thanks to the fact we've kicked out dad.

Now, the fact is, I live in one of the most expensive parts of the whole country. Surrey is within a few hours of more "famously posh" areas in the country, such as Oxford, Kent and London.

Surrey isn't exactly a shithole, but it's a very criminal area and EXTREMELY expensive. Seriously, car parking is £5 - 7 over here.

My mothers' side are a posh Polish-Russian family, and my "dads" side are all self-proclaimed rich dickheads, most of whom I hate. My real dad was even richer, but a tyrant killed him and stole his money for booze.

Anyway, though, thanks to my fathers' wasted riches, we've been dumped in middle-class society, which is, although fine with me, now that "dad" has been kicked out by us and the police, it leaves my mother, brother and I without hardly any money at all, hence why we're moving up North, where everything is cheaper and life is generally easier.

My mothers' side all were born in Leeds, England, which I'll be living just North of, so it's not as if my mother doesn't know the area at all. It will have just changed a lot.

Anyway, I'm all for moving away, because I know dad will never stop harrassing us... But... I'm really anxious about it as well.

I don't know if I should be happy about going there.

Pro's of moving up North...

• Cheaper living.
• I'll be living in a very private apartment that my mums' friends' parents own.
• The college I could attend is right down the road.
• Easily accessible work.
• I have friends up around the area, including my boyfriend.
• Vastly cheap petrol (it's 90 - 99pl where I live.)
• Town and mall is a ten minute walk away.
• Getting rid of stupid false dad.

Now, this is great news, but there's also many things holding me back from being ecstatic about it...

Con's of moving up North...

• Leaving my twenty year old sister behind.
• Leaving my precious darling hamster who I adore behind.
• Leaving my best ever friend of half a decade behind...
• Leaving behind a town I've lived in for seventeen years.
• Leaving behind the home in which I grew up in.

I know what you're probably thinking... "What are you waiting for?! Move there! Now!"

But that's not it. See... once I move, there's no going back. Not for a good few years anyway. And up North, is my boyfriend, who I'm going to be very tempted to see more often, but how do I know he'll want me around often? I don't want to get my heart broken because I moved to a cheaper town.

This is sort of like Govinda's thread, but I don't really have a real option like she did. I know we HAVE to move because we're getting low on money.

I guess I'd like some votes and for you guys to kick some sense into me. Why? Because I'm really beginning to stress out and freak out over this now. Do you feel, from the lists above, that moving really would be the best choice?

Remembering that I spent my childhood in this town, and while much of it was unhappy, it doesn't change the fact I know this part of the country like the back of my hand...

Thoughts, please?? Thank you much in advance.

[Govinda]

Moving's the best option. I can see why you're not keen.

I've spent my whole life moving. I spent Primary One in six different schools. I moved to this house just two years ago.

Never be scared of moving. You're bound to be apprehensive; trust me, I know the feeling well. But your best friend, sister and hamster aren't dying or anything; you love them (assuming the hamster too, haha) and even though you'll see them less often you can call and IM and even send letters. Sending letters is actually quite fun, a lost art of sorts, if you ask me.

I know you can't see it just now, but life will be better up North. You'll be near yer man, for a start; proximity makes everything better when it comes to relationships. In a way I'm envious, haha; I'm leaving Evan by 200 miles, and you're moving to the town next to James!

Trust me on this. If I know about anything, it's relocation. I was born in the South of England, Nottingham. Between there and here I've lived in ten different shitholes.

Life will be different. But in a good way; new people, new places, experiences. I think you'll like it. Forgive me if I'm presuming too much, but it seems to me that you're just a bit nervous about living somewhere new. But trust me - it'll be fine. A new place gives you a new lease of life.

[Chez Daja]

Originally Posted by Govinda

Never be scared of moving. You're bound to be apprehensive; trust me, I know the feeling well. But your best friend, sister and hamster aren't dying or anything; you love them (assuming the hamster too, haha) and even though you'll see them less often you can call and IM and even send letters. Sending letters is actually quite fun, a lost art of sorts, if you ask me.

The hamster is probably the one I'll miss most, haha.

And yeah, letter-writing is good. I used to do that a lot with friends across the country and out of country and stuff. This was before I really used the Internet for much communication.

Originally Posted by Govinda

I know you can't see it just now, but life will be better up North. You'll be near yer man, for a start; proximity makes everything better when it comes to relationships. In a way I'm envious, haha; I'm leaving Evan by 200 miles, and you're moving to the town next to James!

That's actually a bit ironic. Well both have new relationship experiences, we'll have to keep each other updated on that. o_o

I feel sorry for how far you two have to be away from each other; it's hard...

I can't help but feel my boyfriend may be... well... uncomfortable with me asking if I can go around. "What if he doesn't want me there at all?" is my current mindset. I'll probably just wuss out and beat myself up in my journal, haha. We'll see, I guess.

Originally Posted by Govinda

I think you'll like it. Forgive me if I'm presuming too much, but it seems to me that you're just a bit nervous about living somewhere new. But trust me - it'll be fine. A new place gives you a new lease of life.

That's very true. I guess I'm also bummed out about the college I really wanted to attend was down here. A place I'd dreamt of going to for yeeears.

I think I will go and kick their sign down before I leave for North.


Ranger;

Originally Posted by Ranger

Sorry, to bring this up, but nice to hear, from you, what happened to your real pa, I never heard that before. Again, I’m sorry.

Let's just say one man, split personality disorder, massively upset childhood and the assumption that there was somebody different before the drunken tyrant came along.

Originally Posted by Ranger

You may get happier once you expect to talk to them and you’ll be able to say things, or have to say things better and calmly.

Haha, that's a point. In this new town, I'll make an ode not to beat anybody up... unless they mug me. In which case I'll be all "WHACHU DO, HOMIE?! I OWN YO' ASS!"

Thanks, peoples!

[U2Girl1966]

Go for it. I moved from New Orleans to Chicago (900+miles) six years ago. I'd been in New Orleans my whole life. So far it's proven to be one of the best things I've ever done.

[OmniTense]

Remember that Lao Tzu tells us that wherever you go, there you are. Your troubles are brought with you along with your happiness. You will never have less of the two. What is important is how the change helps you balance and deal with this dichotomy.

Never let a mere switch of scenery tell you what the quality of your life will be. Locations... Changes...

These are all in your head. When the world changes to your dismay, you must learn how to change the world around you to make you happy.


I truly wish you happiness Chez. I hope that it finds you and that you can find it.

[Jin]

Originally Posted by Chez

And up North, is my boyfriend, who I'm going to be very tempted to see more often, but how do I know he'll want me around often? I don't want to get my heart broken because I moved to a cheaper town.

...I mean no offence to the man, but if he doesn't want you around, that sounds like pretty solid break up material to me. Unless you planned for it to always be a long distance relationship it'd happen eventually would it not?

Go for it. If he doesn't want to be around you then be done with him. Living a lie doesn't make things any easier. Just the opposite in fact.

[Chez Daja]

Originally Posted by Jintatsu

...I mean no offence to the man, but if he doesn't want you around, that sounds like pretty solid break up material to me. Unless you planned for it to always be a long distance relationship it'd happen eventually would it not?

It was planned for more. We're still together right now. I suppose I'm confused about things because we haven't probably spoken. Like, throughly. In a while now.

Go for it. If he doesn't want to be around you then be done with him. Living a lie doesn't make things any easier. Just the opposite in fact.[/quote]
True. But on the other hand, perhaps I've just exaggerated that point and it's not as bad as it seems... an easy thing to do over the Internet.


OmniTense, although there is much truth in that statement, I'd be leaving behind my dad, so that would be sort of getting out of the way of his violent outbursts.

[OmniTense]

Originally Posted by Chez Daja

OmniTense, although there is much truth in that statement, I'd be leaving behind my dad, so that would be sort of getting out of the way of his violent outbursts.

Oh!
Well maybe that particular trouble you might not bring with you. But I guess what I'm trying to say is that don't let a change of scene bring you down or raise your hopes too much.

Good luck with it though!

[Fishie]

Honestly, Chez I think moving would be a good thing for you and for your family. Okay, so maybe living in "middle-class" is not all high-maintenance like "upper-class", but its something right?

Also, you have friends there and you'll live a lot closer to your boyfriend. So you won't be alone over there and not know anybody when you get there at least and plus you can spend more time with him. I mean why would you go out with someone if you don't want to even hang out with? Maybe it'll be a good thing for him too. Maybe for both of you to get closer together.

[Chez Daja]

Originally Posted by Fishie

Honestly, Chez I think moving would be a good thing for you and for your family. Okay, so maybe living in "middle-class" is not all high-maintenance like "upper-class", but its something right?

I was fine being middle-class, but without dads' money, we're gunna live in poverty, hence the moving. We'll be better off up there.

Originally Posted by Fishie

Also, you have friends there and you'll live a lot closer to your boyfriend. So you won't be alone over there and not know anybody when you get there at least and plus you can spend more time with him. I mean why would you go out with someone if you don't want to even hang out with? Maybe it'll be a good thing for him too. Maybe for both of you to get closer together.

I agree. Ahh, I hope you're right. I guess I tend to exaggerate situations like that. I guess it's because I'm not there often in real life.

OmniTense, haha, yeah. I lol'd.

[Jin]

Oh sure, agree with Fishie when s/he says it.

Seriously, on the boyfriend side of things you have nothing to lose. Either you get to spend more time with him or learn that he isn't the one for you. Either way, it has to be better than being seperated and being unsure, doesn't it?

[Chez Daja]

Originally Posted by Jinny is a pretty lady obabi-babi

Oh sure, agree with Fishie when s/he says it.

You know I love you too, baby!

Originally Posted by Jinny

Seriously, on the boyfriend side of things you have nothing to lose. Either you get to spend more time with him or learn that he isn't the one for you. Either way, it has to be better than being seperated and being unsure, doesn't it?

I do agree with you.

I suppose I'm scared of getting there and finding out it's not meant to be. Hopefully that was just my exaggeration.

Ranger - I have... Three half sisters I never met. One half brother I never met. One half sister I did meet, and lived with. One real sister, and one real brother.
There were more, of which died at birth, too. God. I could've been one of five dozen kids or something, haha.

And yeah... the three C's! And cunt wasn't even one of them, haha. Yay! Thanks, guys, you cheered me up a little more about this whole thing.

EDIT: I voted my own poll because I'm lame.

[Freedom]

Maybe you might need to get used to the new home. I wouldn't move even if i have the chance to. I will still prefer the old home.

Quote : Home is where the heart is.

Well, I read that from a story-book....

If you're asking me for my opinion, I'm definately NOT keen on moving.