Long distance relationships: Does the heart really grow fonder?

[Chez Daja]

Everyone on the Internet is familiar with long-distance relationships.

They've likely been in one, known somebody that is/has been in one, or read a story about a long distance relationship.

Many people don't endorse in such, believe long-distance relationships are "destined to fail"... But this isn't as true as you would think.

Statistics show (yeah, I wondered why the **** there would be statical evidence on this either), that more and more long distance relationships result in couples eventually living near each other/together.

Of course, this isn't really about those 13 year old crushes that you find on Ragnarok Online and such, but a lot of people old enough to really establish a mature relationship.

Many a time, it doesn't work out. There are many reasons as to why this is so, those including, mostly because the other partner wants physical love more than their partner and so ends in a break up.

The questions are...

Have you been in a long distance relationship before?

How long did it last, if you're still together, please specify how long.

How great is the distance between you?

How often do you see each other, if at all?

Has your relationship been "easy" to establish with distance?

Do you know of any sucess stories?

Do you feel long distance relationships really "make the heart fonder"?

I guess I'll answer my own questions first...

Have you been in a long distance relationship before?
Yes, I have been in two "unofficial" relationships... one when I was too young the other when I was... still too young, (being thirteen at the time.)
And one that is indeed official.

How long did it last, if you're still together, please specify how long.
I am currently with a guy that I have been with for just over two years now. It's been a bumpy road, but we're still together.

How great is the distance between you?
About six or seven hours. Luckily, we live on the same Island, just in different areas, which makes a trip to see him every few months easy... although he never comes here...

How often do you see each other, if at all?
Every sixish months. The last time we saw each other was October, and I was/am due to go and see him in March, although he hasn't yet specified if he would like me to come up at that time.
We have met three different times; totalling in six consecutive days... making out to be abooouuut..... forty-five hours... although math never was my strong point, so yeah... You'd have to ask him if you wanted a good enough mathmetician ^_^.

Has your relationship been "easy" to establish with distance?
Fuck no. Dear Lord! Over the Internet, you NEVER know what the other is feeling. Sarcasm, upset and tears are NEVER evident over the Internet unless you tell them about it.
My boyfriend is not an easy man to read, so he always seems placid to me.
Distance is hard; I want to give him a goodnight kiss every night and give him a cuddle if one of us feels sad.
I can't do those things when I want to; it's heartbreaking, and I won't lie about that, but it's also a good way to see how far you can take things without saying "okay, **** this hard work." We've stuck here all along, being as patient as we can be and so far it's worked.
We both have ways of pissing the other off to the point of tooth-grindingly nodding and letting it slide. Or arguing it out, although we don't often have a full-blown arguement.
I am lucky to be with such a tolerant person. We've both been patient, so... I think that's what matters. Patience, faithfulness, love and being able to communicate... even though the latter is hard at times.

Do you know of any sucess stories?
Success stories meaning "couples that have actually waited it out and have now moved in together."

Yeah, actually. I know many. One of them is a couple who reminds me of myself and my boyfriend, who started out young as we have, and slowly moved up the ladder to living together.

I also know another couple similar to that, and three other couples who weren't as young when they met one another.

I know many success stories, and that's good; makes me feel like I have something to look forward to, too.

Do you feel long distance relationships really "make the heart fonder"?
To some extent, yes. When you're away from somebody you deeply love, your heart aches for the other person. Although with too much time apart, I think you can really start to take things for granted and forget why you both got to together. I think remembering why you're together is a good way to freshen up the relationship... as well as trying to physically be with the other person again.

Anyway... Wow, long post. So... what about you guys?

[Setzer]

Have you been in a long distance relationship before?
Yes, once.

How long did it last, if you're still together, please specify how long.
We lasted a little over a year.

How great is the distance between you?
north eastern US to north eastern AUS

How often do you see each other, if at all?
We've never met.

Has your relationship been "easy" to establish with distance?
It was easier in the begining.

Do you know of any sucess stories?
Yours is the only one.

Do you feel long distance relationships really "make the heart fonder"?
Yes, it's tough to be so fine with the idea of someone else you care for living so far. Though you miss them more and it grows the amount of love you have to keep the relationship tight it slowly wears you down to mentally have to deal with. You don't love the person less as time goes on, just it gets more frustrating when you know how long you are from the person you care for.

[Jin]

They can work, they just require effort, like all relationships.

Have you been in a long distance relationship before?
I currently am.

How long did it last, if you're still together, please specify how long.
We've been together for about a year and 3 months now.

How great is the distance between you?
What's the distance between Manitoba and Tennessee? 1500 miles maybe?

How often do you see each other, if at all?
I've gone to see her twice and I plan to again when this semester is over. I had planned on going for spring break, but timing didn't work out. We talk on the phone everyday though.

Has your relationship been "easy" to establish with distance?
Are any good relationships easy? I have nothing to compare it to because this is my first real relationship, but I will say that the relationship that I wanted and received is not one in which distance would cause it to faulter.

Do you know of any sucess stories?
I don't know...that polygomous threesome in the Netherlands found the second girl online, so perhaps.

Do you feel long distance relationships really "make the heart fonder"?
Not really, no. I don't think distance has anything to do with how you feel about someone. The only factor is that it's more difficult to see the person, so unless it's nothing more than a fling, it'll be someone you care about a lot; it'd have to to put so much effort into it.

[Chez Daja]

Originally Posted by Setzer

Has your relationship been "easy" to establish with distance?
It was easier in the begining.

It always is. There's no relationship that isn't really easy in the beginning and then gets a little harder as time goes on.

Originally Posted by Setzer

Do you know of any sucess stories?
Yours is the only one.

Aww shucks, Josh... I dunno if mine really counts as a success story, considering we've only been together for two years... and stuff.

I'm going to quote one of the guys I knew that was a success story with his girlfriend.

"I was an asshole once, I took everything in life for granted. Now I realise that the quote behind every great man is a woman is true... Who else could I fall back on for support when all else falls through? ... And to force to cook me my dinner?"

If you actually understand what he means (many don't), I think it's damned true in the end. And the dinner thing made me smile. He uses that line too often I guess....... maybe he REALLY likes dinner. >_>

[Malahk Musashi]

Have you been in a long distance relationship before?
Yeah, more than I'd like to admit.

How long did it last, if you're still together, please specify how long.
My most recent one lasted from November 2005 to August 2006... Piro knows what I'm talking about >_>.

How great is the distance between you?
New Hampshire -> California, probably 3000 miles.

How often do you see each other, if at all?
I went out to Cali to meet her, but she kind of avoided me.

Has your relationship been "easy" to establish with distance?
I suppose, I mean before I found out she was a complete and total TFF-slumming fraud, things were great.

Do you know of any sucess stories?
Yeah, one of my friends hooked up with a girl from Texas and moved down there to live with her, as far as I know they just got engaged.

Do you feel long distance relationships really "make the heart fonder"?
Not for me, I always assume infidelity is abound when I'm not in contact with them,

[Jin]

If you're talking about who I think you're talking about (based on prior signitures I remember and the fact that Piroblaze had the same thing if I recall), then wow, I'm surprised you got an actual address out of her. She preyed on the far more naive me back in 2004. Luckily, it only lasted for a few days before she got busted for being a complete lie. Gotta watch out for those while dating online.

If you have no idea whom I'm talking about...then never you mind.

[Grizzly]

Have you been in a long distance relationship before?
Yes, a couple of times.

How long did it last, if you're still together, please specify how long.
Well, the longest lasting relationship I had at a long distance was I guess over a year.

How great is the distance between you?
Anywhere from 500m-3000m.

How often do you see each other, if at all?
Out of the times I dated long distance I only saw 3 of them and one was for a full week. It sucked.

Has your relationship(s) been "easy" to establish with distance?
It never will be.

Do you know of any sucess stories?
Not really.

Do you feel long distance relationships really "make the heart fonder"?
In all my experiences long distance relationships will never work unless you actually meet the person every week or every other week. By being away from that person you love only hurts the more you want to be with them. It's fact that long distance relationships will just never work. Just look at the military couples. That's a perfect example of what goes wrong. It's just a contradiction to what real relationships have; being together. Hell, the definition of "relationship" makes that clear.

1. a connection, association, or involvement.

There ya go.

[Malahk Musashi]

If you're talking about who I think you're talking about (based on prior signitures I remember and the fact that Piroblaze had the same thing if I recall), then wow, I'm surprised you got an actual address out of her. She preyed on the far more naive me back in 2004. Luckily, it only lasted for a few days before she got busted for being a complete lie. Gotta watch out for those while dating online.

Haha yes, that's her... turns out she lives in Johnstown, Colorado (thank you, Intellus!). She's gone by the names Daysha (PsshLikeWhoa) and Michelle (MichelleJoanna)... I never got an address, I was gonna surprise her XD. When I got out to Cali, she stopped answering her cell, and I just ended up going to Oakland and getting laid out there XD.

[Mistress Sheena]

Have you been in a long distance relationship before?
Yes. The one that Musa refers to me knowing about, is one certain girl that I was with, while she was with Musa. Except my timeline is a little more like: (See #2)

Then I met my current gf, Alex. On RO, no less. April 06 to Now. She lives in Austin, TX. Somewhat works out since I have family in TX too. And Cesar. =P
She plans on coming over here though. She hates it in TX, lol.

Before those two, there was one girl that just vanished off the internet. She was 13, I was 19. (She was 13, except very perverted for a 13 year old, and quite mature. Kinda like how Hikari is 8. Weird. And she lived in Omaha no less.)

Then there was Jennifer. NY gal. Jamaica, NY to be exact. 16 currently. Except she was 13 when I first met her. Although at the time she told me she was 16. >.> She apologized when I told her. She was like 'what was I high on back then? I'm sorry.'

But anyway. We were together two times.

Then there was Kait. Another RO girl. We were friends when I was with Jen, but after I was with Jen, I was with her for a while. Turned out she was more of a Lone-Wolf type character, so we both ended it. Lasted a few months.

Then there was CelesJessa (ex-TFF member). We lasted over a year because we were more friends than lovers. And as realizing such, we ended it.

How long did it last, if you're still together, please specify how long.
Jen: May '03 to September '03. Then Feb '04 to August '04.
Chelle: April '02 till Now, seeing as she vanished and it never officially ended. XD But as far as her vanishing date, sept '02.
Daysha/MichelleJoanna/PsshLikeWhoa: August 2005 to Dec 05/Jan 2006.
Alex: April '06 to Now.

How great is the distance between you?
Chelle: California to Omaha, Nebraska
Jessa: Here to Indiana
Jen: California to Jamaica, NY
Alex: Here to Austin, TX.
Kait: Here to Indiana

How often do you see each other, if at all?
The only one I've really seen and connected with is Alex. Not in person, mind. But cam. Close enough for me.

Has your relationship been "easy" to establish with distance?
It's never easy, yo. Although Alex wasn't hard. We never had any hard times.

Do you know of any success stories?
Nope.

Do you feel long distance relationships really "make the heart fonder"?
No. They just make you yearn for your far away lover. That's all.

By the way, where in the definition does it say the word "physical" in there?

[Jin]

Originally Posted by Musashiden

Haha yes, that's her... turns out she lives in Johnstown, Colorado (thank you, Intellus!). She's gone by the names Daysha (PsshLikeWhoa) and Michelle (MichelleJoanna)... I never got an address, I was gonna surprise her XD. When I got out to Cali, she stopped answering her cell, and I just ended up going to Oakland and getting laid out there XD.

Oh wow, she actually did always tell me Colorado, but I didn't believe her after finding out that she's, you know, a liar with some severe issues that needs to get into relationships online with naive and desperate people (no offence guys, but face it, we were/are ), lie to them and then act like she's being hurt when people find out and are angry. Had I known that, I never would have tried so hard to talk her out of suicide.

And if you remember correctly, Piro, I tried to warn you about it, but you didn't listen. Don't feel bad, I did the same, until I found out. =P

But yes, somewhat back onto topic...watch out for these people. They have problems and so will you after "being with them". I still have trouble not instantly assuming that my current girlfriend is lying about some things (before thinking it out rationally and remembering that I trust her and that she isn't a liar).

[.EcKS.]

Have you been in a long distance relationship before?yes, i guesss.

How long did it last, if you're still together, please specify how long.
4 months

How great is the distance between you?
however far it is, from my island to the mainland, a 2 hour ferry ride, and a hour ride into town.

How often do you see each other, if at all?
once every couple weeks

Has your relationship been "easy" to establish with distance?
somewhats, no relationship is easy, they all have there problems and so did mine, but was it easy? no

Do you know of any sucess stories?
well me mom and my dad before theyw ere married, he was int eh navy so hed constantly be in and out of port and such, then when they were married he goes off every so often for 2-6 months for school.

Do you feel long distance relationships r