Arrr, be it just me mateys? (NC-17)

GI-Jew · 08-30-2006, 02:30 PM

Question for all you guys, transvestites, and pretty much anyone with a penis...Has your man-stick ever been introduced to a mouth with braces before? And if so, has it hurt?

I ask because just the other day I was rockin my magic fedora(Magic cause this thing pulls ladies)And I picked up this girly and brought her home...Now lack of condoms lead us to foreplay(She's wasn't having any of that dirty unprotected loving) And it was good and all, but she had braces and boy oh boy, it was kind of rough at some points...Now I know what your all thinking, dont worry about the Ol' Buffman, I got off just fine, no need to worry.
So tell me, ever had your man parts meet the metal mouth, and if so, did it hurt?

Hit me back like I'm talking smack.

-Gi-Jew aka the buffman

Plastik Assassin · 08-30-2006, 05:07 PM

Freakin awesome topic Buffman... LMFAO.

Been there before. I didnt really have any issues. I was scared to death that something terrible would happen, but fortunately everything panned out ok.

I didn't know whether she was just that talented, or I was just extremely lucky. Technically, the teeth shouldnt touch anyways if she is doing it right. More of a lip and tongue thing, ya know.

Regardless, if that unique opportunity presents itself again, I will stay be extremely cautious and out my mind on high alert just in case....

GI-Jew · 08-30-2006, 07:35 PM

Yeah I could see that, I'm pretty sure the girly was just getting a little teethy on it...I was trying to be polite, but at one point i was like "Oh, you kinda got me there" She looked kind of embarassed but I assured her everything was gravy, but he started her up and things went back to before..Man I wish I had a condom...She was a sexy, but I've never met a 36 year old with braces before, but it was sexy, gotta love the broads that stand out, eh?

Caije · 08-30-2006, 11:47 PM

Is this topic even allowed, this is truly Hilarious but I wont share anything, there are certain things I want to remain private, sorry for upsetting you dieing fans but, a guy has his limits.

Rinoa.Heartilly · 08-31-2006, 08:45 AM

^ Yup it is. We've had a bad sex stories thread, a masterbation thread, and holy hell we have a funny sex stories thread.. the most a mod or admin would do is probubly put an 17+ thing on it if anything.

Braces shouldn't interfere with oral sex. I mean when i was young, mine never interupted with kissing or any of those activities. I don't have braces now(just check my myspace

) but like you were saying...its a tongue and lip thing. They shouldn't interfere.

GI-Jew · 08-31-2006, 07:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caije

Is this topic even allowed, this is truly Hilarious but I wont share anything, there are certain things I want to remain private, sorry for upsetting you dieing fans but, a guy has his limits.

Ahhh a gentlemen of class and dignity. I like privacy too, especially when I'm giving myself ye old rub down...But it would just be impolite to break out the goods in front of people and start gittiner done...Plus sort of akward...Akward but hilariouse.

Yeah good call RH, thats what I always thought...I guess she was just trying to chew it off or something...What can I say, I must have one deliciouse looking penis

Strong Bad · 09-01-2006, 02:20 AM

I love you. Almost as much as I love TFFChat.

I've never had braces and I don't see why they should make a difference. I've had many a blowjob in my day and they rock... but other than that, Lets all have sex. Srsly. I love it.

SUGAR MOMMAS! Oh!

Angry Moogle · 09-01-2006, 04:52 AM

I can't see how braces would hurt, unless she had that metal bar at the roof of her mouth.

but yeah, I've never had a braces chic. Good thread though.

KuroTenshi · 09-01-2006, 06:36 AM

eeesshh dude, braces? 36? Holy hell. She musta had some really screwy teeth in the past.
By the sounds of it, she was trying to chew ya monkey off man.
Take it home with her and.. Yea well we dont need to go into details really do we.
Point is, blow jobs = awesome, grinding your teeth on my penis = pimp slap

Rinoa.Heartilly · 09-01-2006, 07:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GI-Jew

Yeah good call RH, thats what I always thought...I guess she was just trying to chew it off or something...What can I say, I must have one deliciouse looking penis

She probubly started to gag a little. The gag reflex causes you to open your jaw and then constrict your jaw. If shes a 36 year old with braces, perhaps she wasn't used to it.

Strong Bad · 09-01-2006, 10:48 AM

Hmm... I'm assumin' this "lady" is about twice your age. Now, I don't want to get into a debate whether age matters.... (It always ends up with Lover Boy crying) ...but I do have one very important question to ask.

Was she a milf?

Lai · 09-01-2006, 02:08 PM

If a girl is giving head and the front of her teeth is rubbing up against your piece, something has gone horribly wrong. Either she's gotta be extremely bad at giving head, or you've got some really flabby penis skin hanging off.

GI-Jew · 09-01-2006, 07:05 PM

Yeah, I just think she was using her teeth a little too much...I was reading this girly magazine one time and it was an article about how to drive your man crazy or something, ANYWAYS it was saying how dudes like teeth, I was thinking "What the ass****in shit ****?" If I was any more of a loser I may have written in and told them they shouldn't huff gasoline before they write their articles.

Yeah, my **** is pretty flabby...Its like someone took all the skin off a bbq chicken and slung it over a carrot...A 10 FOOT CARROT. Please feel free to comment on my hangy penis all you want, it turns me on.

Hahahh, actaully yeah Mr. Strongbad-o she was pretty milfy indeed...I thought she was like 26...I love cougars...I have a date with a 31 year old tommrow..Its because of my magic fedora, I'm telling yah

Strong Bad · 09-01-2006, 11:09 PM

I don't know whether I should be scared and crying... or proud of you. Either way, watch out for fatties and STD's. Also, watched out for Attached Mommma's ... Their hubbies will knock you out, yo!

Wait... flabby penis?