Losing A Friend

I have a best friend. He probably knows more about me than almost anyone. I can say with confidence that I confided in him ,and I trusted him a lot. we talked almost every day, and had lots of fun joking an we both go our names our there in internet land. All in all he was a BEST friend.

Later on down the road he meets up with his old flame. Needless to say I get an e-mail from her asking if we were together. I politely said no, and that I was engaged an very happy with that. True me an my best friends jokes get taken out of context, but that was our thing. Shock as many people as you can. Anyways, this girl is married, but she wants to be with my best friend, and even though my friend is married he wants to be with her. Apparently they both have sucky relationships. When my best friend asks me if I am okay with it I told him the truth. She likes to rebound by dating her ex's after her an her current flame are on rocky land. An she had done that to him once already. they dated...he didn't want to commit so she dumped him for her ex...then he treats her bad an she marries another ex. I bluntly told him that I though not only was it wrong to cheat in a marrage, but that she was just lusting him because he is familiar. Was I wrong to say it? he asked didn't he?

Anyways, a couple weeks an I hear nothing from him. Even after we reconsile everything an I tell him I am there for him. I miss him an go to his site to leave a comment in a jokingly manner. Saying how I will beat him up if he doesn't get online soon, and that I am his best friend....all in games...like we usually do. In that time I realise he erased to layout I made for him, and put me in the bottom of his friendslist.

A day later I go to his site, and his old flame an her friend both start flaming me. Calling me suzy homemaker, telling me to stop writing him an go coo my child, Saying that I am a disgrace to women becuase of how my comment sounded clingy, and also that I am not his best friend at all.

I hear nothing still from my best friend. So I have two questions
1.) Am I gonna lose my best friend over a girl?
2.) How can someone I don't even know...haven't talked to...ever even seen say such mean an hurtful things?

[Chez Daja]

If he cares about you, he'll respect your opinions, whether or not he wishes to listen/"abide" by them... I have a best friend, we've known each other for years, and lately, he was dating someone I didn't like.

What did I do?

I told him about it. What did he do? He listened. BUT he told me to stop. To stop saying hi sgirlfriend wasn't good enough for him.
And truly, she wasn't. She ignored him for about a fortnight, and he felt so upset about it, he decided to split up with her.

The point is, I didn't like her, and I knew she's hurt him. In the end, he told me he was sorry for not listening to me...

Maybe your friendship will come back up again, you just need to give things time... If you lose him over some whore, then fuck him... He isn't worth your time anyway.
As for the mean and hurtful things... I didn't see them as mean and hurtful (maybe I have a different view on that, though). The point is, they wanted to upset you, and they succeeded, so they're probably laughing about it. You have to pick yourself up and stop caring about what Internet people say about you, because you're stronger than that.

Anyway, I guess this may have drifted off-topic a bit...forgive me.

[Caije]

Well, mine is more of a happy story, Well my Current Girlfriend was my best friend but I had feelings for her, STRONG feelings. They didnt go away and to see her with guys who'd cheat on her killed me on side, so I eventually told her off for being stupid and picking guys that will just kill her inside. She slapped me on the face, perhaps I took things too far, but a week later she changed.

We werent friends for a while, a long while and I watched her go off with her new boyfriend, hated him so much but he made her happy. Things evetually worked out and we got together.

Point is, this person will eat there words, Just give it some time, He'll be begging for your apology. Things will work out . He dosent deserve your freindship, he completly bitched about you, no compassion what so ever for your feelings, he's full of crap. So much crap he is crap.

Just move on from him and wish him luck in divorce court. You warned him now he will regret it, he deserves it so dont YOU feel guilty, if its anything you should laugh about him,. For being a big Emo ****.

[Angry Moogle]

It sounds to me, that arfter your conversation with him. He had a word with his "old flame", and she diddn't take it very well. Mabe he told her about the whole "you just want your ex's" and she took it a bit hard, and as girls do (well all the girls I know) they bitch like hell.

but if your friend asked for your oppinion, you gave him enough respect to tell him the truth, and he should give you the same, and hopefully he'll come around. because in the end all you was doing was looking out for him.

and the myspace thingy, mabe he just wanted a change.

Hope you sort it out.

[Lover Boy]

Sounds to me like all parties involved are ****ing stupid.

The guy: For ****ing around on his wife.

The dame: For ****ing around on her husband.

You: For getting involved.

Personally, if one of my friends were to cheat on the person they swore they would be loyal to for the rest of their life, I wouldn't want to keep up with them. If you and your wife are having problems and you want to get a divorce, fine. Dicking around on your wife is not cool.

I'm sure you were all plutonically ga-ga over this guy, but if he's the kind of guy to cheat on his wife, he probably isn't that great of a guy.

Also, I would like to throw in a LOL INTERNET DRAMA.

Loverboy:I have to agree with you on this one. This whole "cheating" thing is a new developement. Never thought he was that kind of guy at all. An I told him that I thought is was wrong in every sense of the word. An not to really talk to me about it..cause honestly I think he should have kept it to himself. He already knew how I felt about cheating. A big No no in my book. What did he expect honestly?

angry Moogle: I don't think he has been on. So you are right on that one. Maybe he doesn't know, but word gets out. She is a chick....what did he expect? There was a rule of thumb in our friendship. Everything we said to eachother was supposed to be held in the up most confidense that it would not be a gossip starter. Which is why when I read that (way too personal comments) I knew that part of our friendship had already been broken.

Caije: you made me laugh XD. Not in a bad way..in the I completely think your advice was right an honest. An I hope that he does realise it , and maybe that will give me some comfort that our friendship actually meant something. If not.....Oh well. It's not the end of the world. An I should hang around a guy that gossips about me an cheat on their wife. Not cool.


Chez: this was the kind of guy that claimed I could tell him anything. Too bad that proved to be wrong. People have a boiling point. I suppose I crossed it by tellinghim what I though. you are right though...he asked. I am a friend...blunt an honest. He should know that...an if he doesn't than he never knew me at all. As far as the girls. I am not really mad at them. I have gotten a lot of those kinds of happenings with my male friends. Their other girl friends or relationships pretty much don't like me. An I don't usually care if the guy says get lost. More or less it is the fact that my best friend told them everything..giving them ammo to say anything to me. I am more mad at him for talking behind my back to his other women, then I am about their reaction. Not everyone is going to like me..espeacially women...I can deal with that. Being Betrayed by your bets friend is another thing. So you are right. I do not like him right now for being the way he is acting an I hope our friendship was worth more than that. He better have a good explaination. XD.