am I to young?

[stardragon]

Ok this is rather a kinda serious topic. I am asking if I am to young to be a mother but generally I mean if girls or boys ar to young (21) to have children. And then I mean people who deliberatly choose to have them and not by accident.


Why I am asking this? Well to be honest. I have become a mother 5 months ago and many people ask me if I am up to be a mother, only because they think I am to young and such and they don't think I can. I am married (4 months now) and my husband is 37 years old and earns more than enough to feed us and pay all the bills. Curren;t I am working on saterdays and the rest of the days I am home with my son. aking care of him and doing the house hold.

So Am I to young?? Honest opinions please.

[dimmufan]

I would have to say No. You are not too young. There are a lot of girls here in America and especially in my hometown who are having kids as young as 15. I think the average age of teenage pregnancy here in my hometown would probably be around 18 years old.

[Silver]

Nah, not too young.
BIological age is bullshit here in this day and age, granted ages below 16 are a bit much most of the time, but you see it happen more and more. And a lot of these younger mothers are just as good as older ones. It depends on the person in question though I'd guess. Some 10 year olds could probably look after a kid well while on the other hand some middle aged/old aged mothers might be really shit parents.

In your case I'd say you're doing great. It's clear from your user title and references you love your kid and that's all that matters. If he has married parents than all the better.

[Angantyr]

LOL... Is every man in the Netherlands with a girl at least 10 years younger than him? I am speaking to this 35 year old who's girlfriend is 16 and he's Dutch too... the Dutch sure do love em young.

But to be honest I think the age of consent is too high (16 here), the issue is that the wrong people are having children not how old they are. If you can give your child a warm loving household then I do not see the issue at all... perhaps younger than 16 is too young as you haven't fully developed. However I am 21 myself and am sure that people my age have the ability to take good care of their children.

[stardragon]

Originally Posted by Winter

LOL... Is every man in the Netherlands with a girl at least 10 years younger than him? I am speaking to this 35 year old who's girlfriend is 16 and he's Dutch too... the Dutch sure do love em young.

It is common indeed that dutch boys have rather young girls tho the age difrence me and my husband have i one that is seen as rather big.

That's what people often say to. They say whe wouldn't stick together deu to the age difrence. Whe are ogether for 4 years now from wich 4 months married. Whe are happy.

The worst thing of all, and this truly happened, that some people said I should remove the child (when I whas still pregnant) or that they felt sorry for it. That kinda hurt.

I am happy with the honest replies.

[Phantom]

Not to be a downer or anything but I think 21 is abit young to have a baby. I can see after 26+ when you finish college, have a career, and would be able to support your child. My mom was 21 when she had me, and she was struggling to raise me for awhile. But since you already have your child I would suggest you do everything you can to stay in school, get your degree, and get your career going so you have enough money for future needs for your baby. Like college, its never to late to start saving up for your child. But I can tell you are giving your child the love it deserves, so keep up the good work, and even after having a child don't give up on your hopes and dreams, that will benefit you, and your baby in the longrun. Hang in there Star

[James D.]

Since you are married to an old man, go for it. However, a lot of college girls my age are getting married and pregnant, and it isn't smart at all. Especially since they don't spend the necessary time to experiment with different people and learn what they want. I know a girl that has dated the same man since high school and they are engaged. Sad.

[stardragon]

@mighty zordon: I have had my share of men and I def know what I want I whas told to try and have kids now cause there whas a big possibilty I could not get them anymore over a few years. And why wait 5 years when I know I feel the same then as I feel now?

@phantom: MY career would be writing. I am curently bussy writing a book (1st of 7). That would be the ultimate career for me and here in the netherlands you can live off it. Not that I need to since my husband earns a lot.

Whe already have saved and in 2011 whe will get over 30.000$ wich whe want to use for our son's school. My husband has a special savings thingy (gosh don't ask me how it's working tho cause I haven't got a cleu)

[darkViVi]

Originally Posted by Winter

LOL... Is every man in the Netherlands with a girl at least 10 years younger than him? I am speaking to this 35 year old who's girlfriend is 16 and he's Dutch too... the Dutch sure do love em young.

Well my sister is 20 and she just had a baby with her husband that's 28 years old, so that doesn't just go for Dutch people mate

Finally, stardragon. I do not think you are too young, but I do not know you. If people are too young or not depends on their maturity and if your family life goes well I recon you are mature enough for such a responsibility (I'm almost 26 and I'm not!).

I do however think that the age difference between you and your husband is too great, he's almost twice your age but thats not really my buissness.

[CLOUD]

Well, at the age of 21, you're not too young to have a kid. But, having a kid at 21 means that you'll leave things you could do aside & concentrate on your family. Frankly, i wouldn't be able to do that. It's not that you lose your "freedom", but you have many more responsibilities than most 21y-olds do & your future career opportunities are a bit limited...

What matters most is what you think about it & how you see yourself after 10-15 years. You don't want to wake up one morning after all this time, thinking what you sacrificed & what you could have done. I believe that people should have families & children only after they feel ready to get into that thing. If you feel that way, good for you.

[Omega Weapon]

Well, You're not too young to have a baby but you still young in my opinion.
Seriously! You're 21 years old, you still have a life to live and freedom to enjoy,

Anyway, There is nothing you can do now, except killing your child [ Just kidding ] so here are some suggestions that may help you to make your life easier & better:

- Think about your future career, You need to stay in school and have your degree, To be honest with you, Writing is not a pretty good career to have, you know, no one is actually reading these days, Good bless the Internet O_o.

- Look for a job, any job until you have your degree so you don't need to rely on your husband just because he earns alot of cash! [ Just in case you get divorced! ]

- Lets just say you had this child by accident, Do not do it again now, having one child in this age is really really enough..so....I recommend using condoms from now on !

Finally! Stop thinking about this, You're 21 years old mom now, Start planning for tomorrow and good luck raising Mike!

[Casanova[OCAU]]

stardragon. Don't second guess yourself. Had you been a single mother at 21 with no job and qualifications, I would have indeed been worried. All that matters for good mothering is a stable socio-economic background, which your husband seems to provide, and a loving caring family, which seems possible here as well.

I'm sure you'll make a great mother. Don't doubt your ability. This is a significant profound moment in your life. Embrace it fully

[stardragon]

Originally Posted by Omega Weapon

Well, You're not too young to have a baby but you still young in my opinion.
Seriously! You're 21 years old, you still have a life to live and freedom to enjoy,

Anyway, There is nothing you can do now, except killing your child [ Just kidding ] so here are some suggestions that may help you to make your life easier & better:

- Think about your future career, You need to stay in school and have your degree, To be honest with you, Writing is not a pretty good career to have, you know, no one is actually reading these days, Good bless the Internet O_o.

- Look for a job, any job until you have your degree so you don't need to rely on your husband just because he earns alot of cash! [ Just in case you get divorced! ]

- Lets just say you had this child by accident, Do not do it again now, having one child in this age is really really enough..so....I recommend using condoms from now on !

Finally! Stop thinking about this, You're 21 years old mom now, Start planning for tomorrow and good luck raising Mike!

LOL for now no 2nd baby I know I have my hands full on this one. lol I have a degree and currently I am working at kendle (an american company II think you guys heard of it) It's a good job and I earn 3 times more than I did earn before. I am planning on doing that full time when mike goes to school. That's over a few years.

And I must say, I love writing. That would be the ultimate job and you can't imagen how many people still read these days. I could always pupblish it on the net and let people pay a small fee to read it. Futhermore I love my 2 website's. ! for tyoung mothers and 1 about final fantasy. I am getting almost good at working with these kinda things.