Long distance relationships: Does the heart really grow fonder?

[Chez Daja]

Originally Posted by MiwaMiwa

I think the best situation is a good mix of the two. Not all long-distance relationships will fail (if it's a solid relationship), and not all close-close couples will stay together.

I definately agree with that.

It doesn't seem like it, but I need a lot of alone time. I like to hear from my boyfriend everyday, but there's somedays, I just want to sit down and play on Silent Hill without anybody around me.

Other days, I want to sit and play another game and have nobody disturbing me.

Most days, I do wish I could be by his side, but when it comes down to it, I still need my time. I'm still a teenager after all. Don't get me wrong; I'm loyal, faithful and do need some attention, but that won't stop me from sitting in my home alone for a few hours.

A lot of my friends call me selfish because I don't talk to them everyday... Well, to be honest, there's less than a handful of people I message everyday. I'm fairly popular online, due to my silly, stupid personality, but there's still the whole "you're invading my space" thing. I think that counts for every teenager, though.

I like hearing from my man everyday, and I miss him... but I wanna be left alone to listen to my music and play games, too, sometimes. Too bad there's too much of the whole "not talking" thing going on between us at the moment... it's depressing. And annoying.

I'm annoyed and depressed at the moment and have been for a few weeks. Mweeeh.....

[Jin]

Originally Posted by .EcKS.

what is there for me to get over?? just because I think that internet relationships are retarded, doesnt mean i necessarily care enough to have to "Get Over" something.

Distance was never the problem, it was the internet part. I HAVE been in a long dist. relationship, No i did not fall in love, but itd not like i think it can't happen, it just didnt happen to ME. I just feel as if meeting someone on the interweb and falling in love is cheesy, and tacky, and a little lame. But that's just me, Im not asking anyone to feel the same way.

Lets just leave it at this jinny, They're not for me, You seem to be cool with it. So ya, Party on Garth, you do your thing and i'll do mine.

ALL relationships are cheezy in the real world.

And yes, let's do that, for everyone's sake.

[Chez Daja]

No, Jin. Relationships that resemble those in teen flicks are cheesy.

Seriously. You slip over in the park. Your dream man doesn't pick you up. He laughs his ass off. I know I ****ing would.

I'd feel bad afterwards, of course... <_< ...

[Govinda]

My relationship isn't that cheesy. It's like some kind of unstoppable, loved-up war between two people.

I think the best relationships resemble affectionate wars, to be honest. Perfect relationships scare me, because it always seems like the people involved are trying to hide something. If you spend enough time with someone you will start to bicker with them on and off; some couples take it seriously and others, like my boyfriend and I, don't. Where am I going with this? I don't know. I just don't like cheesy, loved up public affection. It always seems like the participants are trying too hard.

[com1k]

Originally Posted by Govinda

My relationship isn't that cheesy. It's like some kind of unstoppable, loved-up war between two people.

I think the best relationships resemble affectionate wars, to be honest. Perfect relationships scare me, because it always seems like the people involved are trying to hide something. If you spend enough time with someone you will start to bicker with them on and off; some couples take it seriously and others, like my boyfriend and I, don't. Where am I going with this? I don't know. I just don't like cheesy, loved up public affection. It always seems like the participants are trying too hard.

ditto I totally agree with Govinda ^^ it's nice to be in a relationship with some one you like and what I think makes it perfect are the disagreements *some people will find that weird but yeah* It's good to disagree with each other from time to time because in some ways it's helps the relationship become stronger..because then you can work on the things you disagree about

[Quistis]

Have you been in a long distance relationship before?
Yep

How long did it last, if you're still together, please specify how long.
1st one was long distance from July 2004 up to December 2004. Relationship started Sept 2003

I am still in the long distance relationship with my 2nd bf which started in Oct 2006 until now (Feb 2007. We started going out last July 2006). Still going strong. It's so different from my first one. From now on I will refer mostly to my current relationship.

How great is the distance between you?
Chicago-Maryland

How often do you see each other, if at all?
Once every two weeks on average. I just can't stand not seeing him longer than that.

Has your relationship been "easy" to establish with distance?
It's hard for both of us but our feelings for each other just get stronger.


Do you know of any sucess stories?
Yeah. Usually for older couples (25 and above).Around the age when people start looking for their lifetime partners.


Do you feel long distance relationships really "make the heart fonder"?

For my current relationship, of course! Me and my bf are like best buddies.We talk over work through emails everyday, at night we both log on to play online games. (city of heroes/villains atm. Used to be WoW) while talking over ventrillo. So there's really no "away" time so to speak. We are so into each other. it's unbelievable. You'd think after 7 months we'd be over the "honeymoon" stage. But we're more in love with each other now than we were before. Despite all the time we have devoted with each other (even long distance , considering how often we communicate), we never had any fights.

It's also interesting to note that my first long distance relationship (we weren't long distance in the first 9 months of relationship), although it made the heart "grow fonder", there was a lot of insecurity involved in my part. Probably mainly because, my ex and I are so different and we really didn't understand each other completely.


My trust in relationships was ruined after my first breakup. But my current relationship is so different that I totally feel secure. The only thing that pains me is the fact that we are away from each other at the moment. It does help a lot to have a common interest (in our case- playing video games) that you can do together even when away.

[Cain Highwind]

Holy crap! Miss Mina just posted! How ya been, girl?

EDIT: Maybe should've read the post a little more great to hear that.

EDIT by OceanEyes28: Cain... wtf? Why are you chatrooming? You're an assistant admin. What the holy hell?

[Quistis]

OMG! Cain!! It's you!! =D lol blame it on insomnia! That's why I am here ^^"

*so as to not make this a spam post*

In addition to what I posted, I think now you guys can see that I have been in two long distance relationships (both started non long distance). Although it may be too early to see how my current one will go, the situation is very different from the two relationships I mentioned.

My previous one was very stressful for me. I didn't feel secure for one reason or another. My current one is totally different.

Long distance relationships are always hard. But it all comes down to how the couple connects and the trust they have in each other. And as someone has pointed out in this thread, long distance relationships are likely to work if the couple know that they want to be with each other for life. It usually does not work for people who are still unsure about each other. But there may be exceptions, who knows? ^_^

[Cain Highwind]

Well I've been rather hesitant posting my info (some old timers will know why) buut I guess I can divulge some info.

Have you been in a long distance relationship before?
Yes, one

How long did it last, if you're still together, please specify how long.
From about December 2001 to sometime around early 2004

How great is the distance between you?
Literally coast to coast (US)

How often do you see each other, if at all?
Never got around to it, we were just a couple kids who've always wanted to, but never got off the ground primarily based off distance. It's hard when you live THAT far away. Both of us had busy jobs. It wasn't so much money as it was taking the time off from work long enough to set up a meeting.

Has your relationship been "easy" to establish with distance?
We didn't think about distance that much at first. But after a while saying hi and telling each other events just didn't seem to be doing anything


Do you know of any sucess stories?
Yeah I've heard it too, stories here and there, mainly with older people, but then it's usually a reasonable distance away.


Do you feel long distance relationships really "make the heart fonder"?
It certainly did for me, I can tell you. The problem of FFXI arose when she spent most of her time on that and other personal problems on her end. I put and end to it, We both got over it, she apologized, and we made our peace. But we both now it's never going to be the same ever again.

Mina brings up a couple good points, for one thing you're not stuck with just forums, chatting, and maybe phonecalls when you've got MMORPGS, I think it would've helped if I could've got one too, but sadly I STILL don't have a capable computer, BUT I'M WORKING ON IT! >.>

Secondly, yeah if you've got that "I want to be with them for the rest of my life" feeling. And I know I had felt that for a while. But things can go wrong at the feeling will wane.