Long distance relationships: Does the heart really grow fonder? - Page 2

Jin · 02-02-2007, 11:26 PM

You are obviously of the opinion that one cannot fall in love in a long distance relationship as you can't seem to grasp the concept of wanting a specific person for who they are and not based on ease of access. I assure you that you're wrong and if you love someone you love someone; you don't look at them and say "I could be in a relationship with someone closer to me right now, I think I'll leave this person I'm in love with and do that." That's not at all the kind of relationship I'm talking about and barely counts as one.

Blacksmith · 02-02-2007, 11:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chez Daja

I think what loads of people don't understand, is that a fair few of long-distance couples plan on actually meeting up often and / or eventually living together.

If you can't wait for your partner, there's not much point in being together in the first place...

Sure, it's not great for your sex life, but at the same time, WHAT ELSE WERE HANDS MADE FOR?! >_>

<_<

But seriously, that "wetdream" thing may not be as good as the real thing, but would you rather have a few cheap, pointless flings with drunken randomers who probably have STD's, or wait for the person you actually care for?

Personally, I'd take the latter. A deep connection to somebody means more to me than hooking up with "just some guy".

Yeah, I agree with Jin on this subject. I think he and I must have very similar opinions on love as a whole. Yay 4 Jinpantz lol.

I'll quote myself.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Seraith

In all my experiences long distance relationships will never work unless you actually meet the person every week or every other week.

For most online or long distance relationships it never truly works out unless both of them are completely devoted in waiting to see each other or maybe waiting to live with them. The only difference is there are still a lot of people who would rather just ask the person out in their town since it makes it less of a hassle.

I'd consider long distance relationships something to take very seriously in this case. As in actually looking for someone you might marry someday/live with. Other then that they are a waste of time, especially for young people under 18. They should first build up relationship experience in order to both better themselves and be able to know how to keep it together. And no that doesn't mean just knowing to "be loyal and trusting". There's a lot to relationships people don't really understand.

Helter Skelter · 02-03-2007, 08:55 AM

Have you been in a long distance relationship before?
Yes, once, I'm afraid to say.

How long did it last? if you're still together, please specify how long.
It lasted from December 2004 to October 2005, then I met a girl in The Real World who I realised was a superior person.

How great was the distance between you?
It was only about 300 miles. I live in south-west Scotland, she lived in Newcastle-under-Lyme, in the Midlands.

How often did you see each other, if at all?
In the end, we never got to meet, due to various failures in the planning process. On reflection though, I'm glad those failures happened.

Has your relationship been "easy" to establish with distance?
No.

Do you know of any sucess stories?
There are very few. I know of some couples who both live in the UK, and they visit each other regularly, once every week or every two weeks, sometimes a lot more often. There's one relationship I know of, and I speak to them both sometimes, they're from the Red Hot Chili Peppers forum. One lives in England, the other lives in New York. They've been going strong for a few years now, and they fly over to see each other whenever they can.

Do you feel long distance relationships really "make the heart fonder"?
Not in my experience. They make the mind jealous and anxious, and they turn you into a hermit who never leaves the damn computer, but they don't make the heart grow too fond.

Govinda · 02-03-2007, 09:09 AM

I've never had a long-distance relationship, and I don't think I ever will; however, I have had the oppertunity. In order to get to know a person properly I need to speak to them with my face, not my keyboard or my telephone. I have never met anyone on the internet who I've 'connected' with for that very reason. I can't understand how love can be declared over IM; but I do know that in some cases, it's true, love is present. I don't claim to understand it...

If I were in one, I think I'd go insane. I'd feel like I wasn't really a part of the person's life; just a set of characters on their screen. Besides which, I need my boyfriend to be near me, as I am demanding and require tea frequently. When I'm not feeling great, he'll hug me; the feeling of that prescence is something that cannot be recreated via IM. The person is there, next to you; not a million miles away.

I know of a few success stories, and they're great to hear. However, the failures far outweigh them; sometimes I think that without being near a person and speaking to them frequently you can't understand who they really are. Their moods, habits, quirks. On a computer, it just isn't the same.

Just some half-baked opinions.

Oh bugger, I forgot about sex. Relationships should never be based on it; however, it is a very important aspect of loving someone. The trust that springs from it is something quite unique, and important. Sexless relationships often run into trouble for that very reason.

.EcKS. · 02-03-2007, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jintatsu

You are obviously of the opinion that one cannot fall in love in a long distance relationship as you can't seem to grasp the concept of wanting a specific person for who they are and not based on ease of access. I assure you that you're wrong and if you love someone you love someone; you don't look at them and say "I could be in a relationship with someone closer to me right now, I think I'll leave this person I'm in love with and do that." That's not at all the kind of relationship I'm talking about and barely counts as one.

hahah hahaahahahahaahhaa. your too cute. You took what is said and decided to say that "I" can't fall in love with someone for who they are??? dude, what do you take me for? I will admit ive been in love once maybe twice(the second time is a grey area). and i can tell you both were not due to "ease of access". What i don't understand is how someone could seriously just meet someone online and be like...."ohhhhh i want them...omg i luurrve them"
it's stupid....cool you both ahve load sof things in common, but i guess love to me is a little different then listing off each other rpg stats. and its more of the ability to "BE WITH" someone, being able to hold them in your arms and kiss them, and just sitting there being able to look into there eyes for hours and not saying a word. But im sure It's alot easier to date via interweb, you'd never really have to rack up the balls to approach that certain person and ask them out, you wont have to have the awkwardness of meeting the parents, i guess you could have a conference call, but seriously...NOW i do want to get one thing straight. Long Distance relationships DO happen, but if you dated for a while, and say one of you moves away, i commend tou if you try and work things out whilst gone. But i DO NOT CONDONE intnernet relationships...NO..bad

OmniTense · 02-03-2007, 03:31 PM

Have you been in a long distance relationship before?
Yes...
How long did it last, if you're still together, please specify how long.
It lasted not quite two months.
How great is the distance between you?
From Ohio to Texas, however long that is.
How often do you see each other, if at all?
Not anymore..
Has your relationship been "easy" to establish with distance?
It was not established over a distance. I was in love with a girl and then she moved. She tried to keep the relationship going.
Do you know of any sucess stories?
No.
Do you feel long distance relationships really "make the heart fonder"?
No.

Caije · 02-03-2007, 04:13 PM

Have you been in a long distance relationship before?
Yes, wasnt that long, three months here and there,

How long did it last, if you're still together, please specify how long.
We are still together and Living together now. We share an apartment together.We've been together for 1 year and 10 months I think.

How great is the distance between you?
It was different countries for the 3 months but she moved once she had her Visa.
How often do you see each other, if at all?
We saw eachother once every month for about 2 days. I'd fly back To ireland then we would usually chat on Msn.

Has your relationship been "easy" to establish with distance?
Not always, Quite the opposite, its hard seeing other people in relationships. You get lonely at times, and I won't lie, there have been times when I thought I might of dumped her, though, I didn't want to, I guess I had some will power or somthing.

Do you know of any sucess stories?
Mine is I guess. We've known eachother since 15 and went out with eachother since 17. We fell in love, I left for a Job which pays good in ireland. She followed after. We remain close to this day.

Do you feel long distance relationships really "make the heart fonder"?
Of course! Once you see your girl you really appreciate the little moments. trough the wait, you gain power, you trust, it isnt always easy though, if you truly love/like this person, it should work-out, even over little rows you gotta keep asking yourself, should I keep up with this. If yes? It makes it all much sweeter.

*Chez Daja* · 02-03-2007, 04:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caije

You get lonely at times, and I won't lie, there have been times when I thought I might of dumped her, though, I didn't want to, I guess I had some will power or somthing.

You aren't alone there.

I've had thoughts of breaking up with my boyfriend before, even though it wasn't what I wanted. At all.

I have that feeling lately, to be honest, but I don't want to let go, hence why I'm still here.

It's so hard. There are those lonely nights, in which you feel really ****ing down.

Caije · 02-03-2007, 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chez Daja

You aren't alone there.

I've had thoughts of breaking up with my boyfriend before, even though it wasn't what I wanted. At all.

I have that feeling lately, to be honest, but I don't want to let go, hence why I'm still here.

It's so hard. There are those lonely nights, in which you feel really ****ing down.

yeah, I'm guessing its easier on the Males, they can fiddle along there riddles.

Just Kidding. Guys get sick too. Sick of waiting. Sick of all that travelling. Somtimes you get Jealous of other people and there succesful Relationships. But Its worth it in the end. Sometimes you just gotta talk on Msn, have a lil laugh, then do it again in the next day. It does get rather Boring. Though somehow you know there going true the same thing. Its Hard on both people.

Jin · 02-04-2007, 01:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ecks

hahah hahaahahahahaahhaa. your too cute. You took what is said and decided to say that "I" can't fall in love with someone for who they are??? dude, what do you take me for? I will admit ive been in love once maybe twice(the second time is a grey area). and i can tell you both were not due to "ease of access". What i don't understand is how someone could seriously just meet someone online and be like...."ohhhhh i want them...omg i luurrve them"
it's stupid....cool you both ahve load sof things in common, but i guess love to me is a little different then listing off each other rpg stats. and its more of the ability to "BE WITH" someone, being able to hold them in your arms and kiss them, and just sitting there being able to look into there eyes for hours and not saying a word. But im sure It's alot easier to date via interweb, you'd never really have to rack up the balls to approach that certain person and ask them out, you wont have to have the awkwardness of meeting the parents, i guess you could have a conference call, but seriously...NOW i do want to get one thing straight. Long Distance relationships DO happen, but if you dated for a while, and say one of you moves away, i commend tou if you try and work things out whilst gone. But i DO NOT CONDONE intnernet relationships...NO..bad

No, actually you said that being in a relationship online is stupid because you could be in a relationship with someone closer to you and I said that that's an asinine thing to say when love's involved as their location is irrelevant. I didn't say that you've never been in love for not dating online. Regarding being able to hold someone in your arms and what not, yes, no kidding that's an important part of love, but don't make it out that people in distance relationships don't desire to do those things. People looking for serious relationships don't go into a long distance relationship because they want it to be long distance. They do so because they've found someone they like and or love and their distance is an inconvenience, not something to celebrate. The whole point is to close the distance between the two of you.

Now you say that you don't condone the relationships, that's fine, if you want to limit your options to your area of living, go right ahead, but acting like a highschool stereotype and laughing at people for not having the same kind of orthodox relationship as you is just tacky. People can fall in love over distances, whether you can or not, get over it.

Cheesevixen · 02-04-2007, 11:45 PM

Have you been in a long distance relationship before?
I try to never get myself into those. So I have never had one. Maybe for a few days, and that was actually kinda tough.

How long did it last, if you're still together, please specify how long.
I would say when Jason did not have a car, but we eventually started walking to each others house.

How great is the distance between you?
It was at least a 10 mile walk maybe 8, but seemed 10.

How often do you see each other, if at all?
We saw eacho ther a lot. We worked together, and we often hung out with each other. Him being away for a few days was like forever for me.

Has your relationship been "easy" to establish with distance?
Relationships are hard to establish no matter what. I think with distance it would be easier. You just type *will you go out with me* An they type *yes* an it spreads throughout the internet. The hard thing about internet relationships ( I found) was once you are no longer together your internet friends take sides, and it is strenuous. Like me an Jason have been on the internet awhile (him more than I) an it was kinda cool, but it turns out I didn't get along with his friends (Like he had been pushing for). So initially whatever crap they told to someone about me, I would end up having to hear about it.An then when Jason an me broke up (even thought they have no idea how we live our lives) They talk shit even closer to me. Not understanding that I think we are on good terms, and not realising I sometimes check in on his sites when he wants me to. To me, life would be even harder if me an Jason had met on the internet.

Do you know of any sucess stories?
I think the story of Chez is the only one I know of.

Do you feel long distance relationships really "make the heart fonder"?
I can't say that would be the case for me. I have had a very tragic life so it is hard enough for me to trust the little mistakes people make when they are in my life. Once my trust has been broken the relationships begins to go down with it. I think if they were further away an did something that would make me not trust them, it would be ten time worse.

*Chez Daja* · 02-05-2007, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rei Hino

Relationships are hard to establish no matter what. I think with distance it would be easier. You just type *will you go out with me* An they type *yes* an it spreads throughout the internet.

That's funny, actually.

It was a completely different case ofr my boyfriend and I.

I often have people saying "so how did you guys get to being together?" It's weird, all I say is the truth; that there was a declaration of love from other side, and then that sort of cemented it.

I suppose all relationships have their up's and down's. Right now is a perfect example of a rough patch, considering we haven't spoken for a long time. Hoping that it gets fixed soon, it's a waiting game right now. I suppose that goes for a lot of long-distance relationships, too.