Why is sex such an issue with guys/men?

[Koda]

Being older than most of you, having already been through the teen hormones and such. Why is it that the older men get, the more obsessed they become with sex? Isn't a loving relationship suppose to be more than just sex? Communication, companionship, general conversation, trust, and simply just being together enjoying the company?
It seems like regardless of the age group, if a guy takes you to dinner, a movie, or what ever the case may be...at the end of the eveing he wants 'repaid' for his time spent with you. And then will call again when it is convienent for him. To me that is just so wrong. Are we just suppose to sit around and wait on these guys until they 'want' us again?
What are your thoughts?

[Chez Daja]

This seems like slightly more of a rant... I may just move this to General Chat since it's not REALLY an Intellectual Discussion.

I don't think guys need or want sex more as they get older. Of course there is the wild flow of wanting sex as a teenager, but after this phase, I'd say it's the ebb and flow. It's pretty much natural to want sex sometimes and not want it other times. It really depends on the time and place, and whatever is on the mans' mind, to be honest.

I wouldn't say men "expect" to be repaid. I'd say they like to be "repaid" with sex and therefore hope they will be. Speaking from a female standpoint, I can't see much on a guys' wavelength, so I can't really be 100% certain on my interpretations into the male mind, but I can sure as hell try my best!

In any case... Men don't really think the same way women do... Women seem to crave affection and love as well as wanting to feel secure with the guy they're with. Guys feel happy by knowing their girlfriends aren't repulsed by them and with have sex with them.

Hahaha. That last paragraph was sort of a joke, but whatever.

If you feel the need to move this back to Intellectual Discussion, please do so. I just don't think it needs to be here since it lacks an intellectual backbone to it.

[Nin`]

I would agree with calling this more of a rant then an intellectual discussion, but this does not mean that we cannot turn it into such.

Originally Posted by Koda

Why is it that the older men get, the more obsessed they become with sex?

Where did you hear or observe this? do you have sources for this assertion, or is this just your own perspective?

I would suggest that it is during a males teenage years that he is most "obsessed" with sex; the simple and obvious reason here being puberty and the hormones behind it which control the reproductive cycle of virtually all multicellular organisms. This stage in turn generates changes of neuronal function in the hypothalamus. This results in the rising of hormonal signals between brain and gonads, proceeding to gonadal growth and production of sex steroids, which in turn induce changes in responsive parts of the body. The reason for this change of course is reproduction. The need to mate and breed is why the male is "obsessed" with sex, this need is demonstrated through lust, which itself is deterministic and quite inescapable, which irrevocably makes us what we have evolved to be. Of course the need to mate and reporduce is also why we have such wonders as the orgasm and the pre-effects this has on us under the right conditions and hormonal changes, which is demonstrated through lust. You could call this natures way of tempting us to reproduce, sugar-coating the mating process if you will.

Hey, it works with great success.

Originally Posted by Koda

Isn't a loving relationship suppose to be more than just sex?

In a ideal world yes, but nature is somewhat tricky (not to mention near impossible) to just simply ignore, and thus in a majority of cases it overcomes us. Can a loving relationship really succeed without sex? Given all the infidelity and fornication in the world I would think not, your simply going to give into it sooner or later, a little bit like sleep you can resist it for a so long, sooner or later your body will completly take over. Determinism again.

Originally Posted by Koda

It seems like regardless of the age group, if a guy takes you to dinner, a movie, or what ever the case may be...at the end of the eveing he wants 'repaid' for his time spent with you. And then will call again when it is convienent for him. To me that is just so wrong. Are we just suppose to sit around and wait on these guys until they 'want' us again?
What are your thoughts?

You make it sound like females are perfect when the reality is they are far from it. Males simply wants to spread their genes (even though he may not be consciously aware of this), whereas a woman takes much more complex steps to finding a male which is "convienent" or compatible for her. Wanting gifts, having higher expectations, setting males against each other in competition, chewing the heads of their male counterparts (in some species) and are generally more promiscuous then males.

In other words females are a headcase, when males get what they want do you really expect them to stick around if the female is so precarious and selective as to be quite unbearable? In an example and metaphor here, look at the male black widow spider, once his duty is fulfilled he runs as fast as he can out of the web, else the female will eat him (rarely do more than one hundred survive through this process, due to cannibalism).

Wonder why we dont call you as often now?


Lucifer

Originally Posted by Koda

Being older than most of you, having already been through the teen hormones and such. Why is it that the older men get, the more obsessed they become with sex? Isn't a loving relationship suppose to be more than just sex? Communication, companionship, general conversation, trust, and simply just being together enjoying the company?
It seems like regardless of the age group, if a guy takes you to dinner, a movie, or what ever the case may be...at the end of the eveing he wants 'repaid' for his time spent with you. And then will call again when it is convienent for him. To me that is just so wrong. Are we just suppose to sit around and wait on these guys until they 'want' us again?
What are your thoughts?

Honestly unless you are a guy you'll never know. Us women love to talk about it, and think we know men. However even those of us that have been in a relationship for a long time (An actually in person) realise that some men are like that an some not.with any man we flip the coin for the persona.

All in all I "think" I have met more sex crazed teenagers than I have met sex crazed older men. In my day an age being a virgin was a sin. An I was that virgin an kept being that virgin so I know from experience. So I am sure men felt the same way about sex when I was in school. Teen age boys seemingly feel not only the urge to have sex, but the need. But I am getting off topic now XD.point is I honestly believe it is not the age, but the guy.

I have had a guy when I was about 18 take me to dinner an a movie an told me not to kiss him because he wanted to go slow. I thought "gay", but it turned out he was a genuinely nice guy. An we dated for a long time before we ever got to that point, but it made it all the more speacial........

I have to admit that I did date a guy for about a day. He asked me to sleep with him an I told him NO. Never heard from him again. That's not a bad thing though. Men that want you to give it up for a slice of pizza are jerks. Personally the problem with theses guy is one thing...women date them. If a guy tells you to put out because he bought you some pasta an wine....dump him. that's a big red flag that it may not work out so well with mr controlling. Men should be genuine an sweet. The bad apples sadly shouldn't date.

Oh...an never wait for a guy. It just isn't right. Your not owned. If they only call when they want it or NEED you then you might be getting used. We aren't a dog...we aren't a doll. Men like that need to learn that women should be treated like more than all that. If a guy did that to me I would leave him in the dust. Be careful who the guy is though. Sadly they also don't have a label on their heads telling you.

[Secret Azn Man]

Why is money such an issue with ladies/women?

Generalizing sucks, huh? Especially poorly worded ones. Guys/men is redundant as all men are guys.

Anyway, even though I have nothing else to add that hasn't already been mentioned, I suppose I should add some "fluff" to fill my posting size in order to satisfy certain posting rules...

Not all guys are blatantly obsessed with sex. While I won't deny that I like to think about sex and how to get some, I certainly don't expect sex after dates. In fact, I don't like casual sex. Sure, I'll fantasize about it, but in the end, it's just not worth it sometimes so I avoid it.

cheese touched on a subject a bit about how guys are expected to want sex. Like, if a guy doesn't act horny or fall for a girl's sexy tricks, they think he's gay or a wuss. I was accused of being gay because I refused to do favors for a girl in exchange for sexual favors. I'm not gay. I just don't like whores.

Don't think all girls are immune to obsessing over the physical pleasures of sex. Girls are just as capable of being as horny if not hornier than guys. Especially middle-aged women. Hot damn, they be nymphos.

[Angantyr]

I think it depends on the person... I think the biggest thing is opposites attract so all the girls that want something special go with all the guys that just want to get down there pants. And the guys who want to take it slowly and have something special normally attract sluts and whores... I have been there twice.

There are heaps of men out there who want a serious relationship, the majority of my friends are this way as am I, you will probably be suprised at the amount of men who want what you are suggesting so perhaps you are just looking at the wrong places. Probably why you don't notice them is because they tend to be shy and quite secluded.

Sex rules and all but a lot of people take the special part out of it which makes it lose its charm hence why you get some guys who sleep around a lot who aren't happy and try to build up a serious relationship but can't because of their habits. I also think that women are just as horny as men if not more seem as how they tend to last a lot longer than the average guy.

Oh...an never wait for a guy. It just isn't right. Your not owned. If they only call when they want it or NEED you then you might be getting used. We aren't a dog...we aren't a doll. Men like that need to learn that women should be treated like more than all that. If a guy did that to me I would leave him in the dust. Be careful who the guy is though. Sadly they also don't have a label on their heads telling you.

I agree but not on the level you are thinking of A lot of guys expect women to women to just bend over backwards whenever suits them. But if your panties are getting soaked then get over there and have your way with them.

[Lover Boy]

Originally Posted by cheesevixen

Oh...an never wait for a guy. It just isn't right. Your not owned. If they only call when they want it or NEED you then you might be getting used. We aren't a dog...we aren't a doll. Men like that need to learn that women should be treated like more than all that. If a guy did that to me I would leave him in the dust.

And here is where the entire argument becomes sexist. I am going to completely ignore that most of you are generalizing about my entire gender while I know for a fact that I have not tried/pressured a girl into having sex with me.

Maybe myself and other guys like me do seem like the minority, but you don't ever hear about sweet guys waiting until whoever is ready to do whatever. You only hear about the bad guys who want to ****, just like I hear more stories about women being deceitful lying ****s. Oh, what a great idea for a thread? Why do women like to lie and whine so much? That would be very fair to women, wouldn't it?

What makes me laugh about cheesevixen's post is that she thinks she is standing up for women by saying that. You are setting women back. You are supporting old stereotypes that need to fall NOW if we're going to have any kind of equality in this country.

Who says women can't enjoy sex a la carte as well? I mean..... If a guy calls a girl up because he wants to ****, she's not going to say yes just because she really likes him and wants to be his "GF LOL", wives are't made out of the girls who put out because of things like that. It isn't like you've stumbled upon some great idea that no other female is smart enough to figure out. "DONT BE USED FOR SEX." I mean, it's five words. How hard can it be?

I digress. Again. You're being sexist against your own gender when you assume that girls don't let guys like that "take advantage" of them just because (and here's the shocker, everyone) WOMEN LIKE SEX. She isn't being used, shes just getting some ****.

I don't see why women can't call up guys and proposition THEM for sex. I don't see why these women are "sluts" and "whores" just because they've realized that it's okay to want to have sex.

[Caije]

Originally Posted by Lover Boy

And here is where the entire argument becomes sexist. I am going to completely ignore that most of you are generalizing about my entire gender while I know for a fact that I have not tried/pressured a girl into having sex with me.

Maybe myself and other guys like me do seem like the minority, but you don't ever hear about sweet guys waiting until whoever is ready to do whatever. You only hear about the bad guys who want to ****, just like I hear more stories about women being deceitful lying ****s. Oh, what a great idea for a thread? Why do women like to lie and whine so much? That would be very fair to women, wouldn't it?

What makes me laugh about cheesevixen's post is that she thinks she is standing up for women by saying that. You are setting women back. You are supporting old stereotypes that need to fall NOW if we're going to have any kind of equality in this country.

Who says women can't enjoy sex a la carte as well? I mean..... If a guy calls a girl up because he wants to ****, she's not going to say yes just because she really likes him and wants to be his "GF LOL", wives are't made out of the girls who put out because of things like that. It isn't like you've stumbled upon some great idea that no other female is smart enough to figure out. "DONT BE USED FOR SEX." I mean, it's five words. How hard can it be?

I digress. Again. You're being sexist against your own gender when you assume that girls don't let guys like that "take advantage" of them just because (and here's the shocker, everyone) WOMEN LIKE SEX. She isn't being used, shes just getting some ****.

I don't see why women can't call up guys and proposition THEM for sex. I don't see why these women are "sluts" and "whores" just because they've realized that it's okay to want to have sex.

I Couldnt agree more, I've said this before but some women are just plain horny, more horny than us men, They want to have sex let them. Maybe they do want to have sex on a first date, you cant stop them. So what ever got anyone so pissed over this just let it go.

If its like a one night stand and the guy dosent call back,..... neither did the girl. This is the 21st century. Girls have as much respect as men did 100 years ago. Don't get me wrong i am'nt being sexist, but put it the opposite way around.

Girl: I bought everything for you tonight , wanna get laid

Boy: nah,....

? Wtf?

You would get hurt.

So Koda, if this was the case and you were the girl who asked to get laid, the guy said no

You would get hurt. its not just convienient for him, maybe he's scared because maybe you don't think he's attractive.

Besides because of 1 man did this, don't use it against the rest of us fine fellows.

[Kratos]

This is a very interesting topic to discuss.

First of all, yes, men crave sex but I'm pretty positive women do to. The men want it more, I think. But we still respect and treat women with care. We're not all one-night-stand for sex and then leave. Some, however, might be like that. Men crave sex because of hormons(Hope I spelt it right) we can't help it, but we can retain it.

Originally Posted by Lover Boy

And here is where the entire argument becomes sexist. I am going to completely ignore that most of you are generalizing about my entire gender while I know for a fact that I have not tried/pressured a girl into having sex with me.

K, lemme rephrase that. No one anywhere should treat anyone like that. there are plenty of sweet guy an girls that don't do it. However she asked about a guy doing it to her. If "he" does it that don't date him. Men that act like they care an men that say they care are two different things. Do we not all agree that sex for food an wining an dining is wrong? No matter what the gender?

[OnOneRyder]

Not if both people want it it's not, and if the chick orders something expensive I'm at least getting to feel the funbags.

On a serious note, men are no more overly obsessed with sex than women are. Many young girls are insecure and wait till faithful relationships to do it in, by young I mean 25 and under. Being 24 myself I've been in a few serious relationships and that's always been the case. They're nevous with a new guy then you unleash some caged sex demon they've been hiding deep inside.

I've also dated an older woman and lets just say, I couldn't keep up.

You sound like the guys you're talking about are really the minority now in my agegroup 19-25. Sure you've still got assholes who just want to get laid, but many of us recognize an amazing girl in the first few minutes we met her and we're not thinking about how to get laid, we're thinking about trying to not muck it up. And those guys who are obsessed with sex? They don't get much action at all. Girls recognize that quickly and unless they're also looking for a quick lay they'll be going home alone.

[Yuki-onna]

Pie almighty.

It's only an issue because some people feel like making it an issue. Calm the **** down! Everyone is ****ing different! There's no telling!

Go forth, and have a happy ****.

...GO ON!! You know you want to. ? ?