What is up with this?

[Angantyr]

Yeah, my family is messed up really bad, my dad died in november. My mum is an obsessive, greedy and does many things I don't like. My oldest brother got hit on the head a bit too much. My other brother is going nowhere in his life, my little bro is slowly slipping his life away.

I have nobody and can go visit outside of where I am, I have 1 girl who is interested in me online (She lives about 6hours away) but she is young and already tried to take her life.

It does suck alot, I mean your lucky to have somebody to say they love you, I don't really know what that is like, to me that would be something worth living for. The worst thing is you don't know, and won't know, even if we die. What if we just cease to exist? Is that really better than this? Seems like the most logical thing to happen when we die.

Originally Posted by Euclissence

One, nobody has quite ever overdosed on weed...no recorded, anyways. No recorded case of anyone dying on weed either

Actualy people do "overdose" on weed, but it is not called that. Many people that have had alergies, smoked to much, had breathing propblems, or were prego (people still do it because it is an addictive thing to some), end up having an attack. I was in a hospital with someone that smoked too much an just went brain dead, another that smoked it, quit, and then felt like he was higher than hell (w.o. smoking it) years later while he was driving an crashed from having a heartattack. My bf almost died because he turned out to be allergic, and alot of people that are older an smoke pot say it used to be great until they started to have heart problems, just like with ciggs. Not to mention the countless fetusus that have died due to their mother's being dumb.DRugs are mind altering an can very well leave you feeling just as depressed as people who try to kil themselves. It is all escapism. I was in a hospital that treated both drug an depression, and both turned out to take down a lot of young lives.Smoking cannabis, like smoking tobacco, can be a major public health hazard but, at present, there is no clear public health message about cannabis, argue researchers in this week's BMJ.



The number of cannabis smokers is increasing. Between 1999 and 2001, the number of 14-15 year olds who had tried cannabis rose from 19% to 29% in boys and 18% to 25% in girls. A Home Office document estimates that 3.2 million people in Britain smoke cannabis.



Regular use of cannabis is associated with an increased risk of mental illnesses, such as schizophrenia and depression. Smoking cannabis also causes chronic bronchitis, emphysema, and other lung disorders, often in young people. There are also reports of lung, tongue, and other cancers in cannabis smokers.



Despite these alarming facts, there is no evidence at present on whether smoking cannabis contributes to the progression of coronary artery disease, as smoking cigarettes does. More studies of the effects of cannabis are essential, say the authors.

One could calculate that if cigarettes cause an annual excess of 120,000 deaths among 13 million smokers, deaths among 3.2 million cannabis smokers would be 30,000, assuming equity of effect, they write. Even if the number of deaths attributable to cannabis turned out to be a fraction of that figure, smoking cannabis would still be a major public health hazard.

[Chez Daja]

Originally Posted by Wintermetal

Yeah, my family is messed up really bad, my dad died in november. My mum is an obsessive, greedy and does many things I don't like. My oldest brother got hit on the head a bit too much. My other brother is going nowhere in his life, my little bro is slowly slipping his life away.

I have nobody and can go visit outside of where I am, I have 1 girl who is interested in me online (She lives about 6hours away) but she is young and already tried to take her life.

It does suck alot, I mean your lucky to have somebody to say they love you, I don't really know what that is like, to me that would be something worth living for. The worst thing is you don't know, and won't know, even if we die. What if we just cease to exist? Is that really better than this? Seems like the most logical thing to happen when we die.

Yeah, exactly. Hah, and I have a boyfriend... Online, who lives 6hours away. I'm beginning to think you're a male version of myself, heh... Bleh. Death seems like the only thing with a point... Hence why I'm planning my suicide for October this year. I've been planning for a few years. Meh, I don't know if I'll do it yet. I guess I'll have to see if anything in life improves...

[Yuki-onna]

Life is always worth it. There's always at least one thing to live for, and that is yourself.

Even if you feel no one loves or cares for you, that you're dying inside because life isn't giving you what you want or need, that nothing will ever change because nothing has in a long time...there is always hope, no matter how small.
Lie down, plan your death, hurt your body in an attempt to help your mind heal; or pick yourself up and give it all you've ****ing got. No one but yourself can make you feel miserable.

We don't know what death is. Make life worth it, this gift you've been given; who knows if it's the only chance we get.

[Blacksmith]

Oh boy, this subject. No I'm not going to bash anything or anyone, in fact I know it quite well. For the past three generations of my family, they have had some of the most serious depression you have ever seen. My sister comes up in line right after me. That's right, every single person in my family has depression, some lighter than others, but at some point in their life such things as drugs and suicide has been tried.

Though I am the worse of them all even though most of what I've done is not in outside knowledge to my family. I have tried to kill myself 5 times, all almost lethal, yet I never did drugs. Then again my town is extremely drug free. Anyway, I've gone to psychologist many times, I've had like a hundred break downs, and I've had some of the most ****ed up dreams ever. In fact when I was 14 I went silent for one year. Ironically enough though my mom said part of it was because I had a bike wreck when I was real young and almost cracked my face open. Thing is my forehead took most of the damage and she said doctors or whatever mentioned that children with that type of head trauma grow up with less emotion, and well I wouldn't be surprised if that was true cause I didn't give a shit about anything.

While I was young I had a few friends and family alike that were the only ones who cared for me so well die, I was mistreated by everybody but my parents, though they hardly talked to me or taught me anything useful. But yeah, when it came to suicide it was probably the most stupid of things to do. The only bashful thing I'll say to suiciders is stop trying to take the ****ing easy way out. It's harder to live than it is to die. Hell here's two quotes from me and a friend...

Originally Posted by Me

"If you don't want to hear the truth then continue living a lie."

Originally Posted by My Friend

"Life is like a sliding door, step through."

If anything never try to suicide. It's just a call for attention whether you like it or not. If you have no friends get the **** outside and make some. If you have no boy/girlfriend go ask someone out. Then again that can be a blow back. I've dated 16 girls and only 2 were decent, that was another thing that ****ed me up. They either cheated on me or left me for some other dumbass (Literal dumbasses). But the best thing is to stop whining about how bad your life is and go do something with it, something new. One other thing is that pain can be your power. All of the shit I went through I've molded into wisdom and experience. It can help you see things much more clearly and even predict shit too.

Anyway I'm pretty good with such things, I can be a friend to anyone who needs it. I just don't like whining. In fact another friend I had I actually talked out of killing herself and helped change who she is to the better. You haven't lost everything until your final breath, so fight for it.

[Angantyr]

It's not quite as easy as that man. I have had many friends in the past and none of them have lasted. Everywere I go people look down on me. You are always going to end up getting screwed over by others no matter how hard you try keep things together. I am not trying to whine or anything but has grown apparent to me after years of getting f*cked over. The only person I trust is myself anymore.

I have cut myself but only for interest, now I have a big scar on my hand, its embarassing with that, the worst thing is I have a huge scar under my wrist but this wasn't intentionally, just an accident. Depending on my career path I will probably get tattoos to cover them up. I have 1 release which is my music, I just listen to something and drift off into my own solitude. Lyrics: From the eyes which beheld the invisible colours Stare into the depths of the inner self The utter LONELINESS. Must go away ...Away to places where silence roars And where no life has the possibility to grow As I stared down into the cold depths of blindness ... in solitude

I don't intend on commiting suicide but I can't say I want to continue living this way. We will always be what we are and nothing ever changes, we can hide behind a peusdo-personallity and false-meanings, but is that really how we should be dealing with our problems? In my eyes pure nothingness may just be the only way to rid ourselves of this hatred... I hope for a day I can find something better than this, but I doubt I will.

you can overdose on salt. too much of most of the normal shit in our lives is detrimental to us. i'm becoming more and more interested in drugs (i want to see ultraviolet colors). however, the fear of becoming addicted keeps me away.

suicide. i dunno. if it were someone i loved i wouldn't want them to go no matter what. some people may be in terrible health however and just can't on. attempting sucide because your girl left you though seems quite trivial.

[Blacksmith]

Originally Posted by Wintermetal

It's not quite as easy as that man.

I never said it was, but the first thing people should try to do is stop whining in general and stop making excuses. That may take awhile for some people, but once you see past the cover you threw over yourself it's a lot easier to take control. People just need friends to help their confidence give a boost and then give them a reason to live whatever that may be. I'm not saying that'll take 5 minutes either, but you have to try to do something before giving up so easily.

Personally I disagree with drugs more than suicide. I figure drug kill by ****ing with your mind, instead of the other way around (which would be your mind ****ing around with you). Doing a drug for the fisrt time is a choice. People with mental diseases don't have a choice on how they feel. This includes people whom are bi-polar (though most people who are , were misdiagnosed). People that really think that it will help them an give them a rush kinda are no different that a kid that thinks it would be a rush to touch that pot of goodies on the stove, and then gets his fingers burnt off. Drugs however seem to be a choice. They tell you what the drug does, and most of the time terms like "fry, or acid" tip you off to the fact that you may be damaging yourself. An a lot of times drugs can lead to the same mind altering things as a person with an actual disorder. Like the person who thinks he is jumping into a pool, but really is jumping onto a highway. I dunno. I have had experience with both, but I find it is harder to keep my mind from taking over rather just saying no to people that obviously want me to not be able to use my brain. SO yeah, drugs. I say drugs

[Chez Daja]

Well, I almost saw the other side yesterday. On the 13th, leading into the 14th, I took an overdose and cut myself. I thought death was ensured, and indeed, it would have been, if I hadn't called up a friend to say goodbye. He ended up talking me out of dying, so I was forced to throw up a little in hope of any recently taken and non-dissolved pills and their effects being removed from my system.

I think, by almost dying this time, I learnt something. That people -do- care about me. My two friends, and my boyfriend. However, I have no idea if this will be able to stop me from thinking and dreaming of suicide. There's more to depression. And msot of my depression lays inside the Internet.

PS, I'm not talking Matrix. Haha.

[Angantyr]

I know exactly how you feel, its not that anybody actually wants to end it all, but it feels like it is the only option left. Its not like I can just go out and go "hey whassup, wanna get pissed and play some video games?" (Besides the fact I don't act like that ) and then you have some kind of love for life.

I am going through the exact same thing without the cutting and partner bits. But I have plans for my future that I will be working towards, but things don't always go as you plan, I didn't plan to get in that car crash and break my arm, I didn't plan to be single with no job. And it honestly makes me feel worse with people constantly criticizing me (Probably why I seem to whine a lot).

[Chez Daja]

There are a lot of things that happened in my life to make me suicidal. And although I don't feel suicidal after the past few days, they still play on my mind. I can't tell my reasons though. There are way too many. The only person that knows all of it is probably my friend Burton, because he'll sit there and listen to me while I pour my heart out about shit. Plus, I fully trust him, something I can't do for many people. I mean, I love my friend Al like a brother. But I don't FULLY trust him. Out of everybody I know, I think I trust four of them with my life. And that's something I'm really grateful to have.

[~WP-Night]

I know what you guys mean, i thought i was bullied at school but i was really just very naive and thought that everyone was nice. This is because my parents usually protected me from most things and i wasnt used to people like full-blown geordies. I remember that when i was young i heard the word divent for the first time and kept re-asking him what it meant(it means dont) Mostly was bein really quite alone from a very young age, my parents were always very busy. Then they had a brother, which was exciting and then made me left out even more. And thats got worse as i got older. My brother has now been diagnosed with ADHD and Dysexia so my parents automatically think its my fault if anything goes wrong between us. I got really depressed at school too and was sometimes beaten up. Which sucked until i went and trained to defend myself. But i didnt do anything to stop them, i was just too depressed. And to make i worse my parents just said, "Oh your overeacting to this, stop acting". They actually didnt believe me at first which made me hate them. Thankfully, i got out of that school just as my parents started to realise what was going on. Now i'm much better and feel in control of my feelings. I'm also looking into a passion to do with manga and computers, along with my new friends too. Thats what really got me through, is having good friends that stuck with me. So, im not sure if that answers your question but, thats my depression lol. ^^

[Angantyr]

When I went to the hospital I found out what I actually have, its called Essential Tremors, on the physical side is causes my hands similar to Parkinson disease, and it causes a few effects to the brain. There is direct cure for it, though there is some medication to help it, and 1 good thing to help it is Alcohol, which is weird considering even though I have nothing against it, I just don't drink, perhaps I should drink more often. They didn't say if marijuana helped at all but who knows.

Its these kind of things that mostly contribute to me being f*cked off most of the time I think. It would be interest to see how things for me would be differant if I didn't have this, it actually explains a lot of why I sometimes feel that people see me as a "retard". I really wish I could do something about it . Anyway there is more info at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Essential_tremor if you want to know.