I was sitting at work, processing a payroll, when my body and heart decided it was time to process another piece of the divorce. I had a memory of us looking at a space we considered renting. We weren't even doing well then, but we were sustaining and I was hopeful and he was comfortable. Seemingly out of nowhere, I was quietly weeping at my desk. Thank god for tall cubical walls - which is one of the grossest things I've ever said, by the way.
I am familiar with grief, and I know
Well...it has certainly been awhile since I've been hear. No one probably remembers me, but hey there. A lot has changed in my life, but nothing particularly important or worth bringing up. I suppose the fact that I'm mostly sober now, cept for the occasional drink.
Due to some strong feelings for someone a few years ago, I unknowingly turned myself into a hermit and cut myself off from everyone I ever knew because I always wanted to be available to that person. To show them how dedicated and loyal I was.
However, certain incidents and actions over those years that I now see should have given me the red flag that I was in a toxic relationship. A relationship that I truly didn't want. However the feelings I had for this person were so strong that
By the time I told people that I would be seeking divorce - by the time I told my husband - I had already grieved his loss. I had been grieving for it again and again over the course of a year, one broken promise after another.
“I won’t drink anymore.”
“I’ll drink less.”
“I won’t stay out tonight.”
“I’ll be home.”
“Just one beer.”
“I do respect you.”
My Complaint for Divorce states that the “Defendant has committed such general indignities against
Today is the last day of 2015. It has a been a nice year overall. Maybe 65-70% good. The bads were really bad, but they were overshadowed by all of the goods. I am hoping 2016 has a lot more of those good moments.
Here's what I want to accomplish in 2016...
1) Save money.
2) Walk more.
3) Get a driving license.
Well, that's about all I have for the year. I did have a eventful day, but I already spilled all of that on Facebook.