What is worse?

[Warren Space]

We were having a discussion on this at a party I went to.

Is it worse to talk about someone behind their back or is it worse to say it to their face? Well, perhaps I should should explain the whole story.

At this party, the party hosts had a slow dial up computer in there house, then Tom (we'll call this person Tom) asks if he can get on their computer, they say yes, and Tom, being who he is, starts messing with the setting and crashes their computer, now usally I'd be pissed if it were my computer but, Tom is mildly austistic, and is very anti social, he has an obssession with adding programs to other people's computers, like unhelpful browsers like Firefox and Mozilla. This slow dial up computer couldn't handle it and crashed.

The son of the part hosts, (we'll call him Bryan) was, somewhat mad, but not nearly as mad as (well call her Rachel) who was obssessing over the matter for days upon days, and was constantly saying that Tom has no right getting on computers that don't belong to him, somebody ought to tell him, Tom, don't mess with other people's computers.

I felt like saying then why don't you tell him. I hate it when people complain and whine and don't do anything about it.

[Leviathan]

I say things that need saying to people's faces, and because of this people get the impression that I am an asshole, but I prefer to be honest with people.

Sometimes things need to be said to people, but everyone's gay and don't want to hurt people's feelings, if it needs saying man up and bloody say it.

[User Name]

Those who speak wrongfully of those without cause nor to them in person are, to the most extreme, cowards.

I too tell those who need to be told that which needs to be said. If it hurts them it is only for a short while. It always works out in the long run.

[Setzer]

I think it's worse to say something behind someones back. I'd rather have someone tell me to my face they hate me then have them be buddy buddy with me, while they just mad mouth me when I'm not around.

[Plastik Assassin]

I agree with pretty much everyone here...

If you have a problem with me, man up and just tell me. Dont get all teenage girl and start gossiping to everyone and their mom. Out with it.

I hate people that go around everywhere, talking crap about someone, but never having the balls to just approach the person and be honest. Hell, in my book, thats the only way you should deal with me. If you can be honest, I respect that. If I hear about the issue from a 3rd party, then I am not a happy camper.

"Nothing in life is above being honest" - Nick Hexum-

[MyNameDoesntMatter]

I say that talking behind their back is worse because if you have something to say to that person, tell it to them, rather than being a coward and talking to everybody else about it.

It's better to tell them and be honest. Sure, it hurtful, but at least the other person understands how you feel so that both people can come to a solution to their problem.

[The Wolf]

I feel the same way. Even though it's tougher to be honest and tell them, it's the better and gutsy thing to do, that way you can come to a compromise with your problems, just like what MyNameDoesntMatter said. Like others have said, it's pointless to tell other people what you think about the person, and when they find out about it, they get more upset, because you've been hiding this from them for a long time. That's my two cents...

[Leroy]

I'm an asshole by nature, so naturally, in such a case, I would have gone off at the retard. If the computer was mine, I would of socked him in the face too. Yeah, I'm aware he was like, autistic or some shit? I couldn't care less. Only makes it easier for me, because he probably wouldn't fight back.

[Angantyr]

Well first of all FF is better than IE, so it looks like he is just trying to help, but help is not wanted. I get quite annoyed when I am trying to do something and somebodies like "let me help you with this".

I don't care either way tbh, people hate me so what? Pretending to be my friend or just straight out hating me, whats the differance? For me it depends on the situation, for the statement about I'd just tell them to Sod off, I am capable of doing what I want.

But if it was a situation where they hated me outright for just being me and were using me or something I would just punch them in the face and tell them to go away. Hiding behind my back or saying it to my face, they are still a worthless tosser.

[Jin]

Talking behind someone's back in my opinion is only worse if that person is supposedly your friend. Pretending to be someone's friend and then talking behind their back, that's fake. Otherwise, it isn't fake in any way; it's just polite. People can be as honest as they want, but the problem with that is that it contributes to the dying notion of tact.

Quick example. You meet someone at work who has crooked teeth and you quite bluntly inform him of that. No shit. I'm sure he noticed, there's no reason to inform him of it again. It's not being honest, it's just being an ass.

[Strong Bad]

Aye, I think most of you people have the right idea.

Speaking behind someone's back isn't cool. If you're gonna say something, might as well say it to their face. (Even if it gets you in trouble).

As for this computer situation, I wouldn't be too worried. Obviously he didn't intentionally break it and I'm sure he'd cover the repair fees, right?

I've broken people's computers before and I just offered to pay for it to be fixed. What ev.

[Warren Space]

Well, the computer CRASHED. Ya know, blue screen of doom?

"rachel" said she's not getting anything for Tom's birthday.

[Chez Daja]

Hahahaha. I picked the second option because I'm an asshole.

But my opinion is different. You shouldn't say shit behind peoples' back. Unless it's a total stranger who you don't give a toss about in which case not even they are likely to care about what they say. (Unless they're sensitive as **** O_o;;...)

Hm, I don't think it's right. Should talk about it to his face.