Chrono Handle (Fanfic Parody of Chrono Trigger)

[TomStrife]

EDIT: Sorry about that. The link didn`t work right.
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CHRONO HANDLE

Chapter One

A/N: Before I begin, I would like to announce this will be a first person story with the POV (Point of View) of Crono. If this changes your mind about reading please just stick around and try to enjoy it. If you find yourself disliking it then I apologize. And I would like to add that apostrophes do not show up when I post chapters so if you see a space between a word and an ‘S’ then that means that there should be an apostrophe there. As I have announced, I do not own any characters in this fanfiction.

“Crono, Crono, wake up.”

I scratched my head and then noticed that my hair appeared to be weird. I hopped out of my bed and marched down the stairs.

“Good morning, Crono, how was your slumber last night?”

“It was slightly enjoyable, but Mother I have to inform you of a few things. One, what the heck were you thinking naming your child ‘Crono’? Two, why do you look like a normal civilian NPC? (Non Playable Character) You just look like a random woman with no plot line in this story whatsoever. I am going to stinking save the world and defeat Lavos and save the entire universe and you only worry about me like I was gone for five minutes,” I rambled on before my mother interrupted me.

“How about you go visit your friend, Lucca?” My mother said with a grin.

“What does Lucca have anything to do with this?” I asked.

“How about you go visit your friend Lucca?”

I kept trying to talk to her but she just kept saying the same thing over and over and sadly that will be the only thing she will ever say until I go visit Lucca. So therefore, I am never going to visit Lucca!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

No, I am just kidding. I exited my house and walked on the world map.

Ah, peaceful music is playing in the air. I am so pleased there are no random encounters on this map. Whoa, there is Lucca s house! For some reason, it is larger than some towns on the world map; well, no bother.

I entered the house.

No one is there. Well, I guess I am going to go to the fair.

I walked back to the world map and walked to the Millenial Fair.

As I walked to the Leenes Square (Where the Fair took place) I bumped into a girl.

I saw her fall to the ground with a large thud.

THUD!

Thank you Mr. Sound FX man. I walked over to her and extended my hand to assist her to stand up.

“Whoa, you look like a red-headed Goku from DragonBall Z!” The girl mouthed.

“Well we do have the same art designer. Anyways, You look just like the Guardian Princess!” I exclaimed.

“We have the same art designer too!”

We break into laughter and then as I begin to walk away she stops me.

“Wait, can I join you?” She asked.

“Join me with what? I am just looking for my friend, Lucca, and plus I do not even know your name,” I exclaimed.

“I am Marle. Marle is me. I am the awesomeness of the Chrono!” The Princess pretending to be an NPC exclaimed.

“I am Crono. You are annoying but everyone knows that I am going to end up with you.”

“Pardon?”

“Lets go fight that random robot!”

BATTLE MODE ON!

I pulled out my Katana and used my turn to perform a normal attack on the ranom seeing robot seeing “Mr. Roboto”.

dOmo……DoMo…….

Marle uses her turn to blast the robot with her crossbow.

“Crossbow! What is the point of that if we also have another party member with a lazor gun!” I exclaimed.

“Because I am actually the Healer of the party but Staffs are overused.

The robot falls and we win. I wish there was victory music.

BATTLE MODE OFF!

We walked up to a demonstration of one of Luccas experiments.

“This is a teleportation device thingy,” Lucca smiled.

She turned it on a transported from one place to another.

“OOOOOHHHHH! AHHHHH!” claimed the audience.

Just then, Nadia…..I mean, Marle dropped a random crystal into the time machine. It is really too bad….the crystal will never be explained. I cannot tell you why this happened but for some reason a random necklace that belonged to Marle dropped into the transportation device and caused a time warp. Crono , Marle, and Lucca (but for some odd reason, no one else got sucked into it).

SSSSSSSSSSWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIE EEEEEEEEEE!

[TomStrife]

Chapter Two

WOOOOOOOSHHHH!

We are now in a different time zone. How do I know that? Because we got trapped in a time-warp. I look over to my left and see my best friend, Lucca. “What is going on?” I yelled at her furiously.

“According to my calculations, we just got sucked into a time-warp due to a random pendant that will not appear in the story again,” Lucca informed rasing her index finger.

“Where is Marle?” I asked.

“Swedish,” Lucca responded.

“Um….no. Let us look for her,” I said.

“Wait, oh you mean that random blonde girl that looked like an NPC. Why to we have to look for her?” Lucca asked.

“Maybe because we need her pendant to go back to the future,” I informed.

“Wait, Crono, you cannot use a katana,” Lucca informed me.

“Um……why?” I asked.

“Because, you are a main character of an RPG. You must use a broadsword like everyone else,” she corrected.

“But Serge got to use a Swallow in Chrono Cross,” I debated.

“This is an old school RPG, Crono. Only 3D RPGs can have swordless main characters,” she yelled.

I got aggravated and slashed her.

She hit the ground with a thud.

THUD!

Ok, Mr. Sound FX man, you are starting to annoy me. Anyways, I decided to continue through the random forest.

After defeating random goblin-like creatures I found my way to the World Map. For some odd reason, Lucca was behind me like nothing happened.

Great, I get tw annoying girls to follow me. I just wanna get home and talk to my civilian NPC mother for the rest of my life. I do not really like Lucca, she is just cute for a braniac.

Suddenly a random creature approaches.

“No, wait, its the world map!” I yelled.

BATTLE MODE ON!

It is a frog wearing clothes with a sword.

“Um…what?” I said puzzled.

“Ribbit,” said the frog.

“Swedish,” Lucca replied as he selected a normal attack.

She fired her Fire Gun which was Firey.

The frog dodged the attack and slashed at me.

I selected an item and used a tonic to restore my health.

Miss!

“What the..!” I remarked but the frog escaped.

BATTLE MODE OFF!

“Thou art strong in power and force. Thine must ask for thous assistance,” the Frog replied.

“What is your name?” Lucca asked.

“Thine addresses thyself as ‘Frog’,” Frog replied.

“That will be tough to remember,” I sarcastically remarked.

“No, that cannot be your real name. Tell us, please?” Lucca pleaded.

“No, my name is really Frog,” Frog said.

“No really.”

“Frog.”

“Come on.”

“Frog.”

“Please?”

“Frog.”

“Swedish,” Lucca replied.

“Alright, I shall inform thee of thines real title. Thou art is really…..Sparticus.”

……..

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAH!” I cracked up.

“Thine shalt inform thou of a story.”

Flashback………………

Thine was an average knight assigned on the front lines. Unfortunately, I was a banana. Thine is true. I was a banana. My closest acquaintance, Cyrus, was a normal human and knew I stood out and thou was the weilder of a shiny weapon known as the Billybob Blade composed of two beings: Billy and Bob.

Cyrus was aware that I stood out since I was a talking banana so he took me to an evil sorcerer addressed to as Magus the Terrible. I stepped into his office and he gave me a face lift but something went horribly wrong….

“What happened?” I asked.

He………..HAD A MUSTACHE! Oh, and he killed Cyrus, took the Billybon blade and left me with a human body and a frog head. Now, I seek a frog body or a human head, and the Billybob.

Flashback……….IS AN UNDERCOVER SQUISHY……And is over….

“That was a pathetic flashback. A sword called Billybob….?” I said dumbfounded.

“The point is an evil creature named Yakra has possessed the Chancellor of the king od Guardia and I need companions to defeat it before it assassinates the King,” Frog replied talking like a normal person and not a turdburger with cheese (No offence to people who commonly speak in Olde English).

“Oh yeah, what year is it?” I asked.

“Pardon?”

I just realized this is a place in the middle ages so they do not keep track of the year.

“Gee, I hope Marle is in the castle.”