[Secret Azn Man]

I've been meaning to share this fanfic with TFF for awhile now, but never got around to it.. It was actually published in RPGamer's fanfic back in January 2006. I won't say anything more. Further Author's Notes can be found after the story. I hope you enjoy it!


Unforgiven

~ I. Emptiness ~

"....Elysia...."

Elysia wandered about in the dark aimlessly. The area surrounding her was surreal. It was dimly lit by floating specters of dull gray ball of lights. This resulted in a very dark and dreary monochromatic environment. Strange shapes that could only be vaguely recognized as a ruined city faded in and out of existence. Old, dilapidated buildings appeared to be frozen in time in various state of destruction and decay. The ground was translucent, causing no footsteps to be heard. She didn't pay too much attention to what she saw, instead focused intensely on what she heard.

"Elysia! ...Elysia!"

That voice... It was familiar. Elysia scanned her immediate vicinity for the source of this voice. She failed. To make matters worst, the area around her grew smaller, as if slowly tightening its grip on Elysia. Anything beyond ceased to exist. A tinge of fear sneaked up behind her as she realized this.

"Elysia! W-where..?! Wait, Elysia--!" The voice continued to plead. It seemed to come from nowhere but at the same time seemed to come from everywhere. This rendered any attempts at locating the source of the voice impossible. Elysia began to panic. As the dull gray lights grew dimmer and dimmer, her panic grew stronger and stronger.

"Where are you?!" Elysia screamed. Panic-stricken and desperate, it seemed as though she was the one calling for help within the ever-expanding emptiness. The frightened woman reached out blindly into the darkness surrounding her, attempting to find something-- anything to help her locate the voice. Nothing... Everywhere she reached, almost flailing her arms wildly, she found nothing; literally nothing. All there was that could be found was nothing, a void, a vacuum of space. This seemingly infinite emptiness was terrifying. It was mind-boggling and disorientating. This absolute darkness would make even the most steel-nerved adventurer cower in absolute fright.

"Elysia! Don't leave me! Elysia! Please!" The voice too, grew desperate. Its screams further fueled Elysia's terror as the sound drifted further and further away.

"No! No! I.. can't... I can't find you!! I just--" Elysia sobbed, as she dropped to her knees in despair. The mysterious voice quickly faded into silence. Alone... Elysia was all alone in this emptiness. Now with nothing to see, feel, or hear, it truly became empty.

"...Please..." her voice quivered as she whispered, "please forgive me...."

As the shadows enveloped her, Elysia curled into a fetal position, hot tears streaming down her face as she closed her eyes.

~ II. Scars Of Time ~

Elysia opened her eyes. While it was still dark, it wasn't empty. The darkness was washed away by a flickering candle perched next to her on a table. Her eyes slowly adjusted to the light and she could see her familiar dark and dank room. She realized that she had been dreaming. Rather, that she had a nightmare. A nightmare that had haunted Elysia every night for twenty years. This nightmare never lost its power, not even after all this time. If anything, it grew more powerful, gnawing away at Elysia's consciousness from the deep dark depths of her mind.

Elysia tried to put away the horrible feeling left by her nightmare. She tossed her blanket to the side, got dressed and prepared breakfast. Food was running low. She'd have to stop by the storage area again for more rations. For now, all she could serve for breakfast was some loaves of bread, last night's roasted sheep meat, and honey tea. Food and supplies had always been low. Everyone within the Tavnazian Safehold had to hunt and gather what little foods and resources they could find on this island and ration them out to each family. They had been doing so for twenty years since that day. The scars of time never seemed to heal completely.

The living quarter was still dark, but only because there weren't any windows. Only cold jagged rocks carved out to form various living spaces defined Elysia's quarters. Smoke filled the room as the middle-aged woman stoked the fire pit and placed a brass kettle and some bread and meat on the grill to warm them up. She squatted next to the bright flames and rubbed her hands together to warm her cold, weary old body. Her stomach rumbled as the smell of melted fat hit her nose.

"Good morning, Elysia," an Elvaan man greeted Elysia as he entered the living quarter. He was a tall, slender, middle-aged man. His face, worn by time, already had fine wrinkles that defined and distinguished him as someone who went through a lot and lived. His name was Pradiulot. Pradiulot was Elysia's childhood friend that now lived with her. He sat down on a wobbly stool and stroked his black beard as Elysia served breakfast.

"Morning, Pradiulot." Elysia poured some tea into a brass cup. "Hope you feel like more sheep meat."

Pradiulot sipped his tea and tore off a piece of bread. "Oh, of course. Anything you make is quite delicious! Besides, it's not often we find the Orcs' sheep alone. It's a free meal."

In addition to having to hunt for food, the people living in the Tavnazian Safehold had to deal with the few Orcs and Bogard beasts still causing strife on the land. For twenty years, the Orcs still caused trouble, slowly depleting the Tavnazian food, supplies, and hope.

Elysia sat down and watched Pradiulot eat. She didn't touch the food, claiming she had eaten earlier. But in reality, she hadn't eaten since last night. Even then, it was simply the bits of meat and bone marrows of the sheep. The good meats were saved for Pradiulot. When asked, she simply said that the meat gave her stomachaches. Elysia frequently lied to Pradiulot about her eating. Secretly, she had no desire to "indulge" herself. She felt she did not deserve to, and only wished to keep Pradiulot well-fed and healthy. The only benefit to her hunger pangs was that they sometimes distracted her from thinking about that day twenty years ago.

The two sat quietly at the table. Elysia continued to watch him eat while only sipping her tea. She looked at him sadly, though he seemed oblivious. A single candle dimly lit their living quarter. Their shadows danced against the walls. "...Anything new...?" Elysia finally asked Pradiulot.

He finished chewing a piece of meat before answering. "Hmm? Oh, you mean my memory? No, it is still a haze to me. It's been two decades now. I really don't think I'll ever get my memory back."

"Oh... Perhaps someday... Altana will give you back your memories..." Elysia said softly, attempting to keep Pradiulot's hope shining. Though it perhaps was also an attempt to keep hers shining as well.

Pradiulot finished his tea and wiped his mouth with a cloth napkin. "Mm... Someday." He got up and attempted to clean the table but Elysia insisted she do it. "Well, once again, I do thank you for this wonderful breakfast. I'll be going on my rounds now. After that sudden blaze of light we saw in the skies yesterday, Lady Prishe has gone to investigate. Therefore I must keep close guard of the stronghold while she is away."

"Yes, of course. Do have a good day, Pradiulot." With that, Pradiulot left their quarters, leaving Elysia alone to clean up.

~ III. Secrets ~

Elysia started her daily morning routine of keeping their quarters clean. She washed the plates, folded the sheets and gathered the sheep bones and wool to be given to the local craftsman. Today, she had to do some laundry and pick up the weekly rations of food. But before she headed out, she went to her bed and lifted away her hay mattress. Underneath, there was a small hole covered by a flat rock. She removed the rock and reached inside the little opening. Inside was her little secret. No one knew of this secret compartment. Especially not Pradiulot. Elysia fished out a small item from her secret safe.

It was a silver hairpin.

The small jewelry was well-maintained except for a missing stone that was originally attached to one end. That stone was lost twenty years ago. The hairpin was all that was left since that day. Its missing stone served as a reminder. Elysia looked at the old hairpin, then realized that her index finger was bleeding. She must've pricked herself while reaching for the hairpin. Though perhaps the hairpin pricked her, as if it never forgave her for losing the stone.

She stared at her dark red blood trickling out of her finger. Not much came out; just a few drops. She scoffed and thought to herself, "I can't even bleed for her anymore."

"Her."

Elysia began to think about her. Her mind wandered off far into the past as she stared at her wounded finger.

~ IV. Promises ~

Elysia watched a butterfly land on the tip of her delicate finger as she sat on the lush grass atop a hill overlooking Lufaise Meadows. Soft white clouds decorated the bright blue sky as the brilliant sun shone from above. A warm gentle breeze caressed her long brown hair and smooth, pretty, young face. A sea of flowers waved and rippled across the field below her. Their sweet and pleasant fragrance wafted up along the wind. Elysia smiled and hummed to herself as she waited. Shortly, she heard footsteps crunching on the grass behind her.

"Ah! Pradiulot, my dear! Please, over here!"

"Coming, my love! You sure are in a hurry!" Pradiulot appeared over the hilltop as he made his way to the meeting place. "I stopped to pick flowers for you when suddenly you disappeared!"

"I'm so sorry! I'm just so excited!"

Elysia stood up and smiled at Pradiulot and Mischanau. She was waiting for them. The two approached her while holding hands and smiling. Mischanau was a beautiful young Elvaan. Like many female Elvaan, she was a graceful and proper young lady. Though, behind public eyes, she was still just a young carefree girl.

"Sorry to have kept you waiting, dear friend," Mischanau apologized as she hugged Elysia. " Pradiulot here kept dilly-dallying, making us late!"

"Oh, honey! Your words wound me!" Pradiulot teased in a playful manner as he approached behind Mischanau and wrapped his arms around her.

Mischanau giggled and pushed him away. "Stop! Not in front of our friend!"

"Come now!" Pradiulot insisted. "It's precisely the fact that Elysia is our friend that we can be true to each other! Right, Elysia?"

"Oh, I'm not going to get involved in a lovers' quarrel!" The three laughed and sat down together in the soft grass.

"Elysia! We've asked you to meet us here because we want you to be the first to know!" Mischanau could barely contain her excitement. She reached back behind her head and pulled something out. Her golden hair cascaded freely down her back and danced amongst the winds as Mischanau proudly showed Elysia what was in her hand.

Elysia gasped. "Is that... a promise hairpin?"

"Yes!" Mischanau squealed in delight. "Pradiulot proposed to me!" Indeed, it was a promise hairpin. A token of promise given to a woman when a man proposed to her This particular hairpin was silver with a sapphire blue gem shaped like a tear drop encrusted on one end.

"Oh! Altana has blessed you! That is wonderful!" cried Elysia. The two girls hugged and screamed in excitement while Pradiulot smiled and shook his head.

"That's not all!" Mischanau continued. She clasped the hairpin and held both of Elysia's hands. "We would be most elated if you, dear Elysia, be our Maid Of Honor."

Elysia smiled as tears welled up in her eyes. She nodded slowly and mouthed the word, "Yes."

Tavnazian tradition dictated that all promises made concerning the holy union of man and wife must be sealed by a blood pact. When a man proposed to a woman, in exchange of her being his wife, he swears to be her protector. This promise was sealed by the man taking his sword or any weapon he uses and cutting his right palm, drawing five drops of blood, which symbolized the five tears of the goddess Altana, into a wine cup containing white rolanberry wine. The woman then pricked her left index finger with the promise hairpin and added five drops of her own. Then, the couple each took a sip from the holy drink, finalizing the promise.

A similar ritual also needed to be done when a maid of honor and best man were chosen. During the wedding, the ritual was repeated but with the addition of the maid of honor, best man, and the priest, for a total of five people. The idea behind this was that the mixing and drinking blood of each party member symbolized giving each other their lives.

Mischanau began the small ritual of choosing the maid of honor. She took the hairpin and pricked her left index finger, having Elysia lick the blood off. Then, Elysia took the hairpin and did the same, pricking her left index finger and having Mischanau lick the blood off. With the ritual complete, the promise was made. As best friend and now maid of honor to Mischanau, Elysia swore to assist and take care of her should something happen to Pradiulot.

"Then it is settled!" Mischanau wiped her hairpin clean and placed it back in her hair. "I'm so happy!"

"As am I, Mischanau," Elysia responded with a smile.

Mischanau got up and dusted herself off. She bowed slightly and informed Elysia, "I regret that we cannot spend more time with you. But it is now time for Pradiulot to choose his best man."

Elysia got up and looked at the young couple. "Oh? Have you any idea who, Pradiulot?"

Pradiulot answered as he got up, "Yes, Elysia. I will ask my younger brother, Jeaujebraund."

"Oh, how wonderful! I'm sure he will be honored as I," said Elysia. "Well, you two best be going!"

"Yes. Let us meet here again tomorrow to pick flowers and have a picnic," suggested Mischanau.

Elysia hugged her friends goodbye. "I look forward to it. Farewell!"

Pradiulot held Mischanau's hand and the two disappeared below the knoll as Elysia watched on. She stood alone as the wind grew stronger and the sun hid behind the clouds. Yet in the distance, she could see a break in the clouds allowing the sun's warm rays to continue to shine brightly on Pradiulot and Mischanau. It appeared as if the sun's rays followed them, illuminating the couple in a heavenly glow as the two made their way back to Tavnazia.

Elysia just stood there in silence. Her dress flapped in the wind. Her long brown hair whipped her face as the wind gained strength. The sky was dark gray now. The sun was long gone, obscured by thick clouds. She brushed her hair away from her face but the hairs kept getting whipped back, obscuring her saddened face. Perhaps the wind did not want anyone to see that Elysia was crying.

"How I wish I wasn't so weak!" she cried to herself. "Oh, how I wish... I wish that hairpin was mine." Elysia again tried to held back her hair, which was writhing wildly. Her heart and finger still stung. And it began to rain. Raindrops fell and mixed with Elysia's tears of anguish sorrow. The sky lit up with a crack of lightning followed by a maddening roar of thunder.

"... I wish... Pradiulot's heart was mine!"

...To Be Continued...