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Good stuff.
I particularly liked the ending, but this is also a pretty fun poem to play with. I couldn't help but notice that if you just read the 1st and 3rd lines, then the 2nd and 4th lines respectivly in two runs, it changes the mood of the poem a little. Still ends up in the same sad place though... is that intensional?
But yeah, nevermind me. I liked it.
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