|
Quite honestly guys... you gave me an intro, and an intro alone to work with, thanks... makes my job VERY easy doesnt it?
NOT
YOu are both very skilled... and there is only one thing that set you 2 apart...
flow...
Im awarding this battle to Grahf because he had a better flow to his intro... it was a bit easier on the reading... Kairi, your intro, in the way you speak it... its just a bit rough, its hard to describe, but it basicly boils down to how well each word fits into the sentance, and how well it goes from one thing to another... its a bit rocky in yer post... partially from choice of words... I think the term is tense changes... or something... I dunno, the barrage of "he's" "Kairi's" and so forth... its using the right word and when to use it... one reccomendation... is to read your post after you type it... and then read it a day or 2 later... so you catch oddities... and edit it when things seem a bit odd...
|